Everybody gets served!

The Apostle Paul encourages believers to submit to one another, in love. In Ephesians 5, Paul gives us the divine correlation between Christ's devotion to His church (His bride) and husbands to their wives. When we study the awesome design, we realize that when we do things God's way, everybody is served!

"...husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body. As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:28-33 NLT

From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Let's learn to "speak" our lover's love languages, fluently!

 From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

There are five basic love languages, according to Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate". They are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I wholeheartedly agree - and believe there's probably room for even more categories!

When we learn about effective communication, whether in group encounter/dynamic sessions, or through seminars given by employers - we find that people give and receive information differently. We learn that about 80% of communication is in our body language - leaving about 20% in what we actually say verbally! Just in trying to get along on our jobs, we realize that everybody doesn't "compute" the same way we do; and sometimes, there are huge gaps in the line of communication.  It's unpleasant enough when there's miscommunication in the work place- and it's so much worse when there's a chronic breakdown between people in a committed relationship or marriage.

The self-help, couples oriented books out there are plenteous, to be sure. I've read a few, in my quest to stay "up" on what people are writing in this area of our ministry. And I find no fault with much of what these authors have to say. The advice is constructive, and the insights are eye-opening; therefore I have no problem recommending certain books for couples to read - together. (key word = TOGETHER) We practice what we preach at Boaz Ministries, so we've been reading selected books together. It's a wonderful thing for us particularly, because we both enjoy reading.

Activities such as reading together help increase our communication skills with one another. Reading the Bible together is huge if both are believers, or striving to become believers. Quiet as it's kept, the Word of God has volumes to say about love's languages! I was thinking about all of the great PhD's and LSCW's, and other Marriage Counselors/professionals who provide so many wonderful tools for people to practice at home. And I do believe there is a need for our professionals in these fields (or I wouldn't have a job, either!). But it came to me that if we examine the very basic elements of what these people are saying in their books and in the media, we realize all these tools, and more, are also found in the Bible.

Let's discover the love languages of our mates, beloved. Get in each others' face and space and truly search your innermost hearts. We want to do this to be able to better serve and be served. Make sure our connection is complete - and, happily, this is a daily process (and not a chore)! There is no greater way to engage as a couple, than working on your heaven-on-earth, together. Think of the blessings and benefits you will unleash! Yes, miracles of wonder and surprise!

Love one another, fiercely!

Fruit of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23 (all about love!)

On becoming exceptional!

At Boaz Ministries, Bruce posted a poem he wrote titled "Exceptional Men". It's a wonderful piece listing the characteristics of a good man that all women want. An encouraging call to men to rise to higher standards and be all that God intended. I was thinking about this quite a bit, and felt something needed to be said to the ladies as well. We know what we don't want in a mate, but are we doing all we can to be the woman God has called us to be - and be "exceptional women"? Sharing:

Time to flip the script and take a necessary moment to discuss the importance of being the exceptional woman who attracts that exceptional man. The process of building Godly character does not happen overnight. And I have it on good authority that the seductive and loose behaviors that some of the sisters display will indeed attract attention – but not from the exceptional man.

In my youth Bible study group, the young ladies and young men range from ages 14-20. And in our discussions I have found so many who simply lack information on the basics. Parents who are trying to give their children a Christian upbringing have tough competition from the streets and society. Many of our young people have no idea what self-respect looks like – and so much of their understanding is twisted. So the concept of being a “lady” (or “gentleman”) is foreign.

Those of us who are older, say, 30s through 50s… ought to know better about basic etiquette, appropriateness in attire, self-control, and how to hold polite, intelligent conversation. It is disheartening, however, to find that there are still so many who lack these skills.

Ladies, we are being watched. And while we may enjoy it, be sure the brothers are looking even when we don’t know it. Beyond our impeccable style of clothes and those awesome pumps – and the proper accessories, think about what else he’s taking note of. How do we interact with our friends, coworkers, family, and other brothers? Are we always gossiping, giving up the 4-1-1? What’s that language we use? Can we conjugate a verb correctly; speak without using slang and cursing? Like the old school brothers used to say, “Does she have anything on the cap?”

The Bible says quite a few things about the deportment of an “exceptional woman”. All of us have probably heard of Proverbs 31 – the chapter on the Virtuous Woman. A virtuous woman is a person of high moral standards and behavior. (the term "virtuous" applies to men as well) Most Christian women strive to attain those characteristics, by the power and grace of God. In that lovely description, the virtuous (noble, upright, of integrity) woman already has a husband. And she knows how to run the house and handle her business outside the home! And her husband is proud of her - proud to be her man! I maintain she didn’t become “virtuous” overnight. This was something she cultivated, and made intentional efforts to become. She was probably taught in the ways of God from childhood.

It’s ok if someone didn’t receive the training from home – the important thing is that they get the information. Now is the right time! The Word of God says something wonderful in several places about the influence we as women have over the men in our lives – even men who may not be believers. The message is to wives, specifically, but the teaching is good for ALL women:

"… wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior. Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:1-4 NLT

I love that passage because it says so much about how vital it is that we behave ourselves and watch the way we handle our business and other people. “Winning” a man over to the Lord through the way we live daily, is the highest accomplishment, in my opinion. This can happen when we make up our minds to be the woman God wants us to be.

When the Lord is our focus – and we’re living by His power – our demeanor changes, our choices are different – there is confidence in our stride. We are exceptional because of the wonderful transformation that is taking place within us!

And the exceptional man will know who you are; because he’s been watching!

Blessings!

 

From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Changed!

From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

The experts say it takes 30 days to form a habit, and 30 days to break a habit. In my field of work,  we use that rule to measure the success of a client's ability to sustain improved behaviors.  In 30 days, if there's been a decrease in the problematic behavior, and the client has demonstrated the ability to redirect themselves when the usual "triggers" present, we deem them successful (and the goal has been met). Using certain prescribed behavioral guidelines (practical and practicable), anyone should be able to correct undesirable habits within 30 days.

Then there are individuals who have been able to break a bad habit cold turkey - immediately! Those are the results we normally wish for when we become serious about changing our ways. As believers, we know we struggle with many issues and habits that we say we want God to wipe out of our lives. If we're honest - and I'll speak for myself - we sometimes struggle for years with certain problems (though we pray for deliverance) because we're not truly ready to give up whatever it is. I've had discussions with a few believers who say that some things may take a lifetime to overcome. Others have said that if we're truly surrendered to Christ - the change can happen immediately. (what say you?)

We love to sing the songs about change, deliverance and victory. We like to quote the Bible verses that admonish us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds; that we can become brand new creatures (paraphrase Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17), that we will have the same mind as Christ (paraphrase Philippians 2:5). Yet are we changed?

Maybe we can begin by confessing our need for the very desire to be transformed. That's just being transparent with ourselves and our mate; our God already knows. His power to change us comes by our invitation only. A buddy system, like the ones we engage in when exercising and dieting, can be extremely beneficial for couples. When we are praying with and encouraging one another along the path of spiritual growth and Holy Ghost change - the miracles have NO end! The past is behind us where we no longer dwell! It is very exciting!

We can sing the song of victory because we know we've been changed by the One who empowers us to do all things! Let us look forward to the new things the Lord is doing in our lives, and love one another fiercely!!


"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV

Strength for the journey...

From Boaz Ministries
https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Believers need not worry whether or not we can withstand adverse circumstances, or become distressed and wonder how long an adverse situation may last. God promises to see us through every twist, every turn, and detour. And Jesus said those who endure to the end shall be saved! (paraphrase Matthew 24:13) Though we may be concerned, we need not fret because we have the blessed assurance that two who come together as one in love and unity of purpose, covered under the banner of Christ's Love, will know peace and joy.

Though the trials come, He gives us strength for the journey, and we are victorious!

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
Isa 41:10 NLT

 

20/20 - poem

let me be the one to
speak of your eyes
and how they
reflect nothing but
the love
in you

let me be the one
to gaze into them
in my mind's
view ~ my inner vision
of them still
provides the perfect
mirrors

EYE SEE THROUGH


let me be the one
to focus your
attention
on
my optical
conclusions...

NOT your mistaken
illusions
that light
does not
originate
nor could it
emanate
from
the purity
of
soul
deep
inside
of
you

© 2005

Open

When you come to me like the 
first rays of sun

Your light envelops my body,
warms my soul, melts my heart, dries my tears...

and like the soft, sleeping petals
of the morning glory

I open... 

© 2001

All There Is

...and then there are times when you're just happy to be safe
wrapped in the place you can always call home
cradled in the bosom of love and acceptance

yes!

no matter where you've been, or how much dust
has collected on the soles of your feet
or how much care has worn down your heart

no matter how much anguish has stripped your soul bare
there are times when you need to lay your weary head
on a broad shoulder, and it doesn't matter if the tears fall
you can let them fall!

your hurt is felt, shared, and begins to mend

there is no question, or judgment
only comfort and understanding

there are just those times when that familiar smile,
the warm embrace, and kind words will soothe what ails

and all there is in this unforgiving world is that place
within a loving heart where you know you are secure
and the repayment is zero


from Come, Joy! Songs from the soft of night
PublishAmerica, 2005

Boaz Ministries  https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries