My Return to Facebook - a blessing

At the end of 2011, I made this big fat announcement that I had said my goodbyes to FB. Well, that lasted about 30 days. I can explain. When a close cousin of mine couldn't find my page after I'd deactivated it, she emailed me and pretty much read me the riot act about it. Even though we lived in the same state, we were 100 miles apart, and only saw each other twice a year. Her argument was - Facebook is her way of keeping in touch with family - and I needed to return. (I knew there must have been a reason I "deactivated" rather than "deleted" my account - there's a huge difference)

So I went back. And I must say it's been a blessing because, like anything else, the social network IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.  In the months following my big announcement about leaving FB, my life changed in a wonderful way and I married my dear friend, Bruce. I then joined him in Boaz Ministries  geared for couples seeking Godly counsel, and it has its own FB presence. It has truly been beneficial to us as a couple; we've both been there, done that - and have no problem writing about it. Our readership has grown significantly and they've been responding favorably. Since going back to Facebook  I've "met" more family members and we're now planning a long-awaited family reunion after 19 years of being out of touch with one another.

As a believer, one of my main goals is to serve others - and FB is giving me the opportunity to intercede for others in prayer and share uplifting words of encouragement. I've been "friended" by folks who have read what I've posted on my pages via mutual friends, so my circle is widening. It's all God's doing and it's marvelous!  My mind has been changed about this social network - I realize I was being selfish when I wanted to shut my page down. There are people who need a Word - and the only word that I have is LOVE! There is no foolishness or drama on my page.  I'm very sure that those who don't subscribe to spiritual things - Christian messages and Bible references - stay away.

God is leading and guiding. I'm ok with it because I told Him a while back that I only want to do His will. Sometimes it's something I already want to do - which makes it easy. Sometimes it's the most difficult thing to do because it's uncomfortable and doesn't make (human/common) sense. But what I've learned about God as I've begun to walk in His way is this- whatever He calls me to do has everything to do with my own growth and relationship with Him, as well as whoever else He's wooing through our ministries.

So whether it's easy or difficult, makes perfect sense (to me) or not - I'm committed to obeying the Lord and trusting Him implicitly. I'm not all the way there yet - but this return to Facebook has already shown me the blessings I would have missed if I had not reactivated my account. There are others on Facebook who are glorifying God on their pages - it's so gratifying to read from people of like-minded Faith. When I first went back on the page, I just waited and watched for several days. No one even knew I had returned (and may not have known I had left!).  Gradually, the Lord worked me back into the "conversation". I am confident He will show me when it is time to exit, and I'll know my mission there was accomplished.

It is and has always been all about spreading love and edifying one another. Praise His Name!!

Blessings!

Things a Man Never Gets Tired of Hearing from His Woman

Boaz Ministries

“You are so wonderful to me."
“I love you.”
“How do you feel about that, baby?”
“What do you think about this, baby?” (Big difference between the two)

“I appreciate you doing that.”
“I love who you are.”
“Baby, would you mind …”
“Whatever way you think is best.” (When it really doesn’t matter which way)
“You know, you’re really good at…”
“I’m blessed to have you in my life.”

At signings for my book of romance poetry, "Loving Lovely Ladies", there's normally a discussion about love and romance. At a signing in Orangeburg, South Carolina, an elderly woman told the audience of mostly younger women, “The key to making your man happy is to stroke his ego and help him feel good about his self. They delicate like that. If he loves you, ain’t nothing wrong with it.”

Men want to feel needed and they want to feel appreciated for what they do. “Want” is the key word here because most men are not “needy”, but we are “wantful” or desirous of certain things. Yes Ma’am, we are delicate like that. And to all the Mr. Man’s out there, of which I am one, don’t get delicate and wantful twisted with being weak!

Bruce

*See the August 3 post: “Things a Woman Never Gets Tired of Hearing from Her Man”

Take time to worship...

 From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

As we wind down from the busyness of the week, I hope there have been moments set aside for quiet meditation, prayer, and study of God's Word. Spending time in daily communion with the Lord is essential for believers to make it in these evil times. The Bible tells us we're not dealing with mere human forces in this world, but spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)

Couples committed to strengthening their bond do well to incorporate worship in their schedule. We've stressed the necessity of engaging in individual and joint prayer, and we maintain its importance to ward off attacks against your relationship.

Stand together in unity of purpose. Make intentional strides in fortifying your worship; find a body of like-minded believers for enriching fellowship. Surround your marriage/relationship with the protective covering of God's love and grace. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee." James 4:7

Chemistry! Put it to the Test

From Boaz Ministries   https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

For the single and/or dating…and married folks alike

First of all, what are our standards and how strong are our convictions about the basics in relationships? While we mull that over in our minds, there is such a thing as that instantaneous awareness that someone is special and speaks to your soul in a singular way that no one else ever has. But that “feeling” can be deceptive in the initial excitement. It needs to be tried and tested, and that takes time. And that takes prayer and patience. I have it on good authority that the “honeymoon phase” of a new relationship is about 90 days. After the euphoria has worn off and your best-foot-forward “representatives” have been sent back into their closets, if you still enjoy each other’s company without all the frills and thrills in the stark light of day – you may have the makings of something solid.

When you’re able to face problematic issues with maturity and understanding, when you choose your battles and keep your tongue and attitude in check because it’s just better to be quiet (and not feel bitter about holding your peace for the greater good), when you are in fact free to express your opinions without feeling belittled or ignored – you may indeed have something special. Some red flags are readily visible; some present themselves later on and during times of crises (when people tend to get “brand new”). The question then becomes, “is this a deal breaker?” Refer back to your standards.(you may do this often)

Shared interests and hobbies are key in the chemistry department. And even if you don’t share many of the same interests, your respect for each others' favorite past-time is vital. It’s not healthy when we merely tolerate our partner’s extracurricular hobbies or engage in them grudgingly. However, if we are accommodating and considerate of one another's activities that do not include us, and if we are willing to support, encourage and even join in with our partner - that’s a very good sign you are a good match. In a real love relationship, it’s never all about you. And if you both operate in that mindset – as I have said before – everybody gets served!

If you’re single and have met someone you’re interested in, observe the person for a while; check them out in their surroundings (that’s not stalking, btw). Determine what it is about them that might draw you closer. You may find out from observation that there is no chemistry at all. If you’re already dating that individual, honest communication can’t begin too soon, in my opinion. Keep it real. So much can be discovered when you’re observing and sharing openly – and those skills are the building blocks you will need in your future commitment/marriage.

Overall, intimacy IS chemistry, and I’m not just talking about sex. True intimacy is what you’re after in the long-run. Just FYI, great chemistry outside the bedroom enhances sexual intimacy in exponential measures! Some of the married folks already know there is nothing more satisfying than experiencing the natural ease of ebb and flow together no matter the situation or circumstance. Blessings abound when the time is taken to test the chemistry! With loving care and attention, chemistry in your relationships can be improved. We hope you take the time to try it, test it, then taste and see how sweet it is!

In the meantime, remember to love one another - fiercely!

A note to the ladies...

From Boaz Ministries:  https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries



He's your man, faults and all. And yes, sometimes he frustrates you to no end. But your best girlfriend doesn't need to know your innermost concerns about him. Consider this: your girl cares about you, and if you're trashing your husband, she is on your side (most often) and not only joins you in your anger, she now knows your details. Same goes for your mama! This is not only disrespectful to your union, it's embarrassing - especially since people tend to remember the bad things.

I.don't.care.how.tight.you.are.with.your.girlfriend! You've put the negatives out there, and nine times out of ten, you and hubby will kiss and make up. However, now there is someone outside your marriage who has formed opinions (because they can't help it) based on how you felt at one moment in time. A serious no no, my sistas. Trust me.

When you feel you are about to explode because the situation is hard to bear, breathe deeply, slow your pace and get into a quiet place/space mentally and physically. Go into your prayer closet and pray for strength, understanding and wisdom. Tell the Lord all about it. And He will direct you. Pray for your husband, for the words to speak to him - and the Lord will not only give you what to say, but how and when. Let us learn how to seek the Lord first in handling all our concerns. Remember, He loves us more than our friends and family, and He won't throw our business back in our faces. He is the God of reconciliation and restoration, so we never have to worry about His motives when we've sought His advice.

It's never good to talk bad about your man. If you do that too often, people begin to wonder what's wrong with YOU!

Let's love one another - fiercely!

Something Sweet Inside

Like the promise of plump cherries hanging low on the bough
or ripe grapes heavy on the vine
he has something sweet inside

If I could speak of his elegance,
his regal bearing and natural grace
you would see that he is at once
startlingly humble, handsome and appealing


Ah! Those great eyes, with lids that shade the
rapid fire of his thoughts, flash bright brown hues
whenever he smiles...

And so able to blend into the tapestry
without losing the distinctiveness of his own fabric
he is master of the segue... the prince
of diplomacy and discretion

Like the peace that comes at sunrise
tears of gratefulness and thanksgiving
stain my cheeks when I reflect upon manifold blessings
available to me daily inside the lovely chambers 
of his heart -

My hands are ever poised to pluck from his bounty
and my lips wait patiently to savor with delight
the exquisite taste of joy mere words cannot convey...

 

Bridget Edwards

© 2012

Serious Relationship Counseling

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 45:18



Many people (myself included) have considered but shied away from counseling for one reason or another. Whether it is an individual personal issue or a family relationship issue, many people just don’t want other people knowing their business and the intimate details of what’s going on in their lives. Plus we’re so smart and know so much about ourselves that we can handle whatever may come our way.

There are many couples in need of guidance and counseling in a desperate way. As we speak, there are couples on the brink of collapse because one or both people don’t want to seek help in solving their issues.

“Professional” help may not be the answer for everyone but there is one counselor who will heal, help, and restore any relationship if both people ask together and believe together that this counselor will bring you back together no matter what the issues are. He already knows your personal business so you don’t have to rehash what happened when, and who did what, how long ago. Just go to him together as one (no appointment is necessary and it’s free) and ask him to restore your marriage or relationship. Ask with broke down sincerity and believe with every fiber of your being that restoration will take place; not instantly but surely. Trust me, he’s good. He’s God and no one more than him wants to see relationships flourish under the umbrella of his grace.

Bruce Edwards

From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

We-Time!!

One of the joys of being empty-nesters is the freedom to be spontaneous. But whether a couple has an empty nest or children still at home, it is important to make time for just the two of you. Thankfully, quite a few of the couples we know are all over this - and have date nights and romantic getaways on a regular basis. Their bond is strong and stays fresh. Big kudos to them!

People who are protective of their marriages or relationships, who not only love their mates, but genuinely LIKE them, will do whatever is necessary to break away from the everyday grind and recharge their passion batteries.

We-time is an essential ingredient for proper balance in a couple's "diet", giving the two who are "one" the ability to maintain their "equilibrium" during the in-between times. If a couple is having difficulty figuring out the whens and hows and where-to-go (in the conventional mode with the aid of a planner), then do something crazy on a weekday and skip work. Go somewhere you haven't been in a long time, check in to a hotel on the other side of town, or just stay at home - close the blinds, turn off all electronic devices - no TV allowed - and enjoy one another thoroughly! Kindle or rekindle that fire, remember why you chose each other, discover new reasons (!) - and watch the miracles!

I believe in miracles! God performs them in our lives every day - and He wants our relationships to be a reflection of His awesome love! He's blessed each of us with a measure of faith, light, creativity and LOVE! Let's make sure that taking care of business never gets in the way of us gettin busy with our mates!

Love one another fiercely!

 

From Boaz Ministries  https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

A Word about ministry

From Boaz Ministries:  https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Each of us has been gifted with something unique and special to share along this journey called life. When we begin to recognize our interdependence upon one another as brothers and sisters in Faith, friend to friend, man to woman, we discern with spiritual eyes that we are all called to serve in the cause of building God's kingdom. When our hearts are stirred by the Spirit of God to attend to the needs of another, it is up to the individual to make the choice to allow God to use us. God is indeed wooing us!

"Minister" is both a noun and a verb, as you know. It has several definitions; but numbers 5 and 7 describe what we are about at Boaz Ministries; "a person acting as an agent or instrument of another", "to furnish, or supply". We are agents and instruments of God. And His omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent leadership makes us all legit as followers! It doesn't take a college degree, or a fancy ordination ceremony to reach out to someone. Ministers are everyday people; individuals, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, with their own stories to tell and willing hands extended to uplift those in need. The needs are varied, and the way we meet them comes from our creativity and abilities.

Ministers are people who simply answer the call in the affirmative, roll up our sleeves, plant the seed, and allow the Lord to do the rest. He alone is worthy of all the glory and all the praise! Have a blessed weekend, and love one another, fiercely!