Sunday, November 3, 2013

When It's Ok to Let Someone Else Have the Last Word

In my experience, having the last word, the final say, is most appropriate when raising children. As the adult, the provider and supplier of the immediate and long-term needs - what we say, goes. No discussion.

It's justified. The authority of good parents should be undisputed.

However, I have been in numerous situations in my interactions with other adults, where I have found it quite all right to allow someone else to utter the last word(s), specifically in a disagreement, or conflict. It is no longer a matter of pride for me to verbalize a clever quip, or parting (snide) remark... or rub the fact that I was "right" in the other person's face (when I was indeed right).

Now, I simply receive the other person's email,  phone call/text, as the final word, for the record - even when a well placed electronic blow to the jugular is tempting. For where there is no point in continuing, because there will be no agreement - or, the relationship has run its course - I've found it very satisfying to remain silent. And because I have become extremely careful about how I communicate - in that I practice being accessible, making promises I can keep, and immediately taking responsibility for errors I've made, and fixing them to the best of my ability - when the inevitable "when all is said and done" time comes, I have, by God's grace and power, accomplished both. Amen.

My goal here, is to make sure my efforts are sincere and my words are crystal clear (even if my motives are not immediately evident to others), no matter what. And my last communication in any given situation,  must be something that glorifies God.


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