The Money Excuse

From Boaz Ministries

“Mo Money Mo Problems” - Notorious BIG

I recently read an article, which states that when a woman makes more money than the man in the household this may lead to turmoil and divorce. I know this is a problem in many relationships but I also believe the root of the problem is not the money. The real problem lies with the character of the individuals, both men and women.

If a man defines himself by the amount of money he makes, then money becomes the center of his world leaving little room for anything else. This begs the question “What will happen to him when he has little or no money or when the money runs out?” Is he less of a man? If he thinks he is, then money is not the problem. His self worth is the problem.

If his woman makes more money than he does and he has a problem with it, two things need to happen. One, he needs to do what is necessary to increase his earnings, or be proud of the fact that his woman has the ability to earn the type of salary that affords them a better lifestyle. To resent her is petty and speaks to his own insecurities which he needs to address.

When a woman makes more money than a man is she the type of woman who will use that to belittle him and point out how superior she is to him because she makes more money? Does she take any opportunity to make it known to others that she makes more money? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, she has issues that need to be addressed as well.

Money simply allows for additional options to be explored in any life circumstance positive or negative. The mistake many couples make when one person makes more than the other is that person wants to control and select the options. Many men have a problem with this when they feel they are in an unfavorable position because they don’t have the power of money on their side. Many women who have more money than their man use this as a way to exercise control through a sense of power.

Controlling people will try to control with or without money. Disrespectful people will disrespect with or without money. A weak man will be weak with or without money; and a belittling, controlling woman will belittle her man and be controlling with or without money.

The "problem" of the woman making more money is usually an excuse and masks other things that are wrong in the relationship. It is an easy, obvious thing to point to when we don’t know how to address and deal with the deeper reasons for turmoil.

Bruce