Secrets

In my line of work, I've heard it all. And because of my work, I must keep things clients tell me confidential. As a friend, the same rule applies. As a friend, and as a counselor, I have listened to the stories (sometimes both sides, separately), and promised to zip my lip, except to pray for and with the individuals. I've kept my promises.

Now, I rarely give advice to personal friends, and will offer my opinion only when it is solicited. In my years of experience, I have found it is best to keep my advice to myself. (Amazing what can happen to folks after you've offered them some advice! WOW!) In my profession, I'm paid to offer options within the scope of the services I render and the resources I have available. When my clients get into their personal life issues, I listen and determine if a referral is needed for further exploration of the problem(s). In this case, a client's information may be shared in a meeting of that client's clinical team.

Some say that there are some secrets you should take to the grave; secrets that are just between you and God. I won't argue with that. Especially if you've confessed to the Lord and know you've been forgiven. But there are situations when keeping secrets does more harm than good, and I have advised folks to just tell it all, come clean and work things out, prayerfully.


I've taken my own advice, by the way. A long time ago, a very wise person advised me to confess, come clean, free myself (and others) from the bondage of the unspoken thing. And as a believer, I know that is what I am supposed to do, by the power and grace of God (Matthew 5:23-24).

Confessing, coming clean, reconciliation, restoration - I've been there, done that, recommend it. And I can report that it was and is worth the effort and the pain, all of which stimulates growth and gives all parties concerned a deeper insight into one another. It's a powerful, undeniable move of true love.

Secrets hold us hostage mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically. It's an unhealthy environment for families, and a huge contributor to the dysfunction in families.

Maybe releasing a secret will result in an unfavorable consequence. Then one must ask, "Would keeping someone in the dark about a serious matter be fair, responsible, or loving?"

Just a thought or two...