Message to the Good Fathers

for the special fathers in my life, past and present, and all the good fathers out there


You are not a myth
as some adverse propaganda
would have us believe

And if your stories were told more often
If your songs were sung from the cities
to the country towns where you dwell

It would shake the foundation of this place
just right,

and

we just might be able to restore
law and order in our homes – first

Our sons and daughters would look to you
with the admiration and respect
you deserve

You are not a hope or a dream
as many of my women friends have sometimes
imagined

You are right here, walking among us
Laboring beside us
Contributing to our communities

And if your voices could be heard
above the noise of modern day confusion

We would stop, turn about,
take heed to the wisdom from the pages
of your years in the struggle

And give you back the love and honor
you deserve!

Bridgette Edwards © 2012

Don't Forget the Family Prayer

At Boaz Ministries, we're discussing the importance of prayer in our relationships, covering all bases from singles to couples, to families.  https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

There's an old gospel song titled "Don't Forget the Family Prayer" - many quartets and quintets have sung it. I taught it to my children and we sang it as a family together. As the song reminds us - family prayer time is special. Praying for our families can be done in a variety of ways; in your prayer closet by yourself, with your spouse, or with the entire family unit during family worship.

The fifth commandment tells us to honor our fathers and mothers, that we may live long in the land. (paraphrase Exodus 20:12, Deut. 5:16) And children can show their respect and love for their parents by praying for them. It is a sweet thing to hear children thanking God for their parents in front of the congregation at the close of the children's story in church! They volunteer with a willing spirit, and their words are so sincere! It warms my heart, and their thoughts coming through in their prayers always minister to me!

Praying with our children can start simply at bedtime after the other daily routines are completed. When we teach them how wonderful it is to have a Heavenly Father, and Friend, in Jesus, and show God's love to them, these early lessons in building a relationship with the Lord won't soon be forgotten. Consistent prayer in the home over the growth and development of our children has its rewards when they are grown and take the lead in prayer, as you gather together!

Let us not forget to pray for and with our families. And by all means, let the children pray!




Blessings!

Not Just Another Road Trip - a very short, short story

Lynda kicked the kitchen door closed with her foot as she balanced her briefcase, grocery bags and the days’ mail in her arms.  Lately, her life seemed to be a cycle of in and out, back and forth, coming and going from the high school where she was an Assistant Principal, to the University where she was working on her second Masters degree – her house was just a pit stop for a bite to eat, a bath, and a nap.   It had been hard on a sista lately. 

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      Letting the burden in her arms slide onto the kitchen table in a heap, Lynda’s eye caught the note Simon had left under a picture magnet on the refrigerator.  Slipping out of her shoes and padding over to the refrigerator in her bare feet, she retrieved the piece of paper and read it aloud – “Babe, I’ll be back around 6:00. We need to have a conversation.  Be here. It’s important; love, Simon.”

  

      Lynda looked at the clock, it was 4:50. Simon would be home from his upholstery shop soon. She frowned, wrinkling her nose at the tone she’d detected in Simon’s note. Things had become a bit tense between them since they moved in together a few months ago, and Simon was behaving strangely.  He’d been going to a Bible study group for a while now, and had invited her to come with him many times but she always made some excuse.   Lynda wasn’t pressed to get involved with “Christians” because she’d seen too many hypocrites in her family, though she didn’t really mind Simon’s new-found interest.  He was probably the best man she’d ever known, and the way she saw it, a little Bible knowledge could only make him better. She'd had enough church; she didn’t need any more study. .

       

      They’d met at a birthday party given by a mutual friend ten years ago, when they were both married to other people.  Lynda had been married to Jackson, a professor of Anthropology at the University, where she was now attending.  They had been married for almost 20 years.  Simon’s ex-wife, Tonya, was a marketing executive at a big time firm.  They had hung tough for 18 years.  Between Lynda and Simon, they had four children – Lynda’s twin sons, Marc and Eric, were in their freshman year of college;  Simon’s son, Jason, a high school senior, and daughter, Keslee, a spunky and intelligent  7 year old. According to Simon, Keslee had been their final attempt to save their marriage.That rarely works.

        

     The drama in both their marriages seemed to run parallel, from the first signs of discord, down to the end.  And in a series of events that neither Simon nor Lynda could explain to this day, their paths seemed to cross at points when they had needed a friendly face, an understanding ear - just a break from the noise.  It was clear to Lynda that nothing happens by accident, and their concern for each others' well-being was genuine.  They began to keep in contact from time to time, just to “touch bases” – nothing too intrusive.  Lynda remembered encouraging Simon to “hang in there,” and Simon, in turn, strongly recommended that she and Jackson seek marital counseling. Lynda respected Simon’s opinion so highly, that she did drag Jackson into a few sessions, to no avail.

      And then there were the phone calls that began to last longer than they should have.  As time went on, Lynda began to look forward to Simon’s calls and emails; she could tell by the sound of his voice that he’d begun to feel the same. But they never 'crossed the line.' Simon and Tonya divorced a year after Lynda and Jackson.  It had been “Irreconcilable Differences” in both cases; the catch-all, no-fault divorce.   Seemed like before the ink could even dry on Simon’s divorce papers, Lynda and Simon had started dating. 

            

      Against her better judgment, Lynda surrendered to Simon’s special charms almost immediately.  He loved her, wanted her, and it was obvious.  Because she’d met Tonya socially years ago, Lynda had a good sense of Tonya’s philosophy on marriage and family.  Indeed, Tonya knew a lot about Lynda, as well.  And Tonya was an incredible wife, mother and businesswoman, by Simon’s own admission.  Jackson was a great guy, wonderful father and provider, too, but… And that “but” still clanged and rattled around in Lynda’s head, a reminder of something she wanted to keep hidden from herself, perhaps? She couldn't put her finger on it.  What had actually gone wrong in both their marriages was still an unsolved mystery.

        Lynda seasoned the boneless chicken thighs for the broccoli, cheese and rice casserole Simon loved.  Her mind drifted back four months, after the twins left for college, when Simon suggested they move in together.  He and Tonya shared custody of their children, some crazy arrangement of half a week and every other weekend apiece.  Simon had a small apartment and wanted to consolidate their living space, especially since he spent most of his time at her house.   Lynda was against the living together thing mostly because of Jason and Keslee. It was bad enough that the children would have to come to her house – but even worse, she and Simon weren’t even married and had no plans of getting married in the near future. She was a little surprised that this still bothered her. And her sons were split in their decision on who they’d rather be with on breaks from school; Eric preferred her, Marc preferred his father. It stabbed at her heart a little, not to have both sons during the holidays, thinking about now it made her shiver.  She thought out loud, “What were we thinking?”     

            

Standing at the sink, looking out at her backyard, Lynda’s mind traveled across the years since Simon came into her life.   They shared many things in common.  It seemed their very souls were entwined; something they even said was “ordained by God.”  It sounded good, and it felt right.  Simon showed his devotion to her in so many ways; Lynda never doubted his heart was hers.  She had enough life experience to know that there are many levels of love, and the heart has the capacity to embrace many loves within its treasure chambers – but there is one special love above all others.   And as far as she could tell, Simon was hers, and she was his.  “But…” There was that word again.

The salad was made, and the casserole was baking with five more minutes on the timer.  It would be a simple meal – thankfully, Simon wasn’t picky.  He loved flavorful and filling home cooked meals. Lynda loved cooking for him. Simon’s ability to enjoy the simple pleasures in life was part of his charm.  There was a gusto with which he dove into everything that captured his attention, and his heart.  This was who Simon was to Lynda.  And there was no doubt in her mind that she loved him. 

Keys jangling in the front door broke into Lynda’s reverie, and in a moment, Simon’s tall, lanky frame filled the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey Babe,” Simon said cheerfully as he moved toward her and leaned in for a peck on her lips.  “See you got my note,” he nodded toward the piece of paper on the table. 

“Yes, Simon, I got it.  Was wondering why you’d think I might not be home at 6:00, you know my schedule.  Ain’t nothing jumping off after 4:30 on a Friday!” Lynda laughed, her eyes searching his face for something. Anything.

“Mmmmm, something smells good, what’s cooking?” 

“Your favorite casserole, Baby. It was quick and I know how you get when you’re hungry,” teased Lynda.  They both began setting the table for two and once seated, Simon’s mood became quiet.  Lynda could tell he was struggling with something he wanted to say.  But she didn’t press him. She became aware that she was still staring at him after he’d finished blessing the food. And for a few uneasy moments, they ate without speaking.  Finally, Simon’s voice broke the silence.

           “Lyn, we need to talk about something that’s been on my mind for the past few days.  It’s pretty important.”  Lynda’s own voice could not be found, so she nodded her head to at least send Simon the message that she was listening. Simon continued, “You know I’ve been going to the Bible study group every week for the past couple of months, right?”  Chewing very slowly, Lynda nodded again.

“And I’ve been really learning a lot from the Scriptures, more than I even knew was in there,”Simon paused, waiting for Lynda to respond.  When she didn’t, he went on,  “We’ve been studying in the New Testament about how God wants us to live according to His will, not our own. But in order to do that we have to know what His will is; and not only that, we must trust and love Him more than we love anybody. “ Simon stopped for a breath, then continued, “Now, I know there are things you and I have done wrong in ignorance, and I can show you from the Bible what they are.  But there is forgiveness for us, too, Lyn-- “  

         Lynda finally found her voice and spoke with a touch of indignation, “ --Oh, so you done gone and got ‘holy’ on me now? I haven’t done anything that needs to be forgiven, Simon…I just don’t think so!  They got you over there feeling guilty for nothing!  We’re good people!  We haven’t hurt anyone!”

         “Babe, now I know how you feel about Christians being hypocrites, but hypocrites are not true Christians. You’ve probably never met a real Christian, Lyn,” Simon said softly, looking Lynda straight in the eyes. Lynda began to feel slightly uncomfortable under Simon’s gaze, and looked away.  Something was gnawing at her insides, her gut instincts were bubbling and she suspected it had to do with the “buts” still floating around in her head.

“Lyn, honey, I can show you in the Word that what I’m saying is true.  And believe me, it blew my mind!  But I’ve learned that the Lord isn’t out to make our lives miserable.  We do that pretty well on our own.  No, He wants to give us life more abundantly, Lyn. It’s true!”  Simon’s eyes were piercing straight through the toughened membranes of Lynda’s heart, and while she was afraid to acknowledge the truth, she was more fearful of holding on to a lie.

“What is it that you want to show me, Simon?” Lynda sighed with a tinge of impatience mixed with curiosity.  

“What I need to tell you first, is that our lifestyle right now doesn’t glorify the Lord.  We can’t live together like this.  We need to get married,” Simon said in a tone that was at once matter of fact and rather sweet. 

“Get married?!” Lynda blurted so unexpectedly she had to catch herself.  This was a moment of truth for her.  She’d thought of marriage, but pushed it out of her mind, making herself believe things were perfect the way they were. 

           “And if you don’t want to marry right away, and I don't know why you wouldn't, I’ll have to move out until we do.” Simon replied, with conviction.  “You see, Babe, where we may have started this relationship out wrong, it’s not impossible to make it right in God’s sight.” Lynda stared blankly, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“Plus, we have other people to think about,” Simon went on. “We’ve hurt some innocent people by our choices.  Now, I’m not saying I don’t love you.  Because I do; you know I do!  But I see now that I’ve got to make things right with God.  It’s important to me not to disrespect Him or His Word.  It’s important to me not to cause others to stumble because I’m not doing right.  Babe, I don’t want to be a hypocrite calling myself a Christian--”

“--Just who would you be causing to ‘stumble’, as you put it, Simon?”

“First of all our KIDS!  I intend to share what I’m learning with my kids, and how can I be legit if I don’t walk the talk? I don’t want Jason and Keslee to have any grounds to call me a hypocrite.  Jason already does, I’m sure, but I don’t want them sounding like you, Lyn! I don’t want them to reject God because of my bad witness.  I’m finding out a lot of things in Bible study, and they aren’t all comfortable things, either.  But I know in my heart that it’s right! The truth hurts, Lyn, I accept that, Babe.”

“Do you know what you’re saying, Simon? Do you really know?  Have you considered that if you go this way, you and I could possibly never be together?  Have you studied the part about divorce yet, Simon?  Have they showed you that in God’s eyes, our divorces from our exes are BOGUS because we didn't divorce for the cause of adultery,  the only out the Bible gives, Simon? Huh, Simon? If you wanna be 'old school' and do it to the letter, Simon, have you found out that what we’re doing right now is still considered adultery and fornication?  And that also means Tonya and her boyfriend are in sin as well, according to THE WORD! CAN YOU GET WITH THAT, SIMON?!” Lynda shouted, feeling near hysteria, hot tears welling in her eyes.

Simon’s body slumped back against the dinette chair as if he had been punched in the chest, and he stared at Lynda, speechless.  They didn’t move, but were aware of the others' breathing.  Lynda saw the pool of tears forming in Simon’s eyes.

        Finally, slowly, Simon spoke, “You knew all this stuff and didn't tell me? I only just learned about the strait gate. I'm just now wrapping my mind around it. I mean, 'strait' - that means it’s difficult, and it’s a very narrow path.…and...and that’s why most people won’t take that road, Babe. It’s not popular and it sure ain’t comfortable. We need to get some understanding. I know God doesn't hold me responsible for what I, we didn't know, right? There's forgiveness for us, correct? How can I go back to an ex-wife who has moved on- when I love you? How does it work, Lyn, can you tell me that?”

Lynda shook her head 'no', then nodded 'yes' in an odd, circular motion, tears spilling freely down her cheeks…”I don't know all the answers, Simon, but I am sure of what I just said, It's all in the Book.  And I’m so sorry. I did know these things all along. I’ve been trying to avoid that road for the past 20 something years."   She stood up and took Simon’s hand.  They walked into the living room where Lynda removed a book from the bookcase.  It was a Bible that Simon had never seen. He didn’t know Lynda even owned a Bible.  In silence, he followed her to the couch and they sat down. Lynda opened the Bible to Matthew 7 and read verses 13 and 14.  “Enter ye at the strait gate; for wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leads to life, and few there be that find it.”

When she closed the Bible, Simon cradled her hands inside his.  They sat in the quiet of the living room, side by side, each contemplating the future. It had been a very long day at the end of a very long week. And now, it seemed everything was winding down in slo mo. Lynda knew that the issues she’d been avoiding could no longer be ignored.  Simon’s search for Truth was working a miracle in her own heart, in short order.  Lynda realized she couldn’t be a “closet Christian” any longer.  Simon’s sincerity was compelling, and just like everything else he put his heart and soul into, this new commitment to be one of God’s people was for keeps.  There were going to be some tough decisions to make, and soon. 

   The signs warning of twists and turns lay before Lynda on this road.  Her faith was in serious disrepair and needed more than a retread job.  Prayer would be necessary for this new direction she was taking – and she couldn’t remember the last time she prayed.  Her Bible would be her compass that would not only show her the way, but keep the path lighted.  “Only God knows the end from the beginning”, something she remembered from a sermon long ago.  And Lynda had learned as a child that she would never be left alone if she put her trust in Him. Well God was about to be put to the test now. Inside, she was kicking and screaming - it wasn't going to be pretty.  This was not just another road trip, and Lynda knew that, too.. 

 "Let's pray, Lyn," Simon whispered, "we need to ask God for direction, Babe. I know that's where we have to start."  As they joined hands and bowed in prayer together, an unexplainable sense of peace began to blossom within Lynda as she thought about the unknown up ahead. Even if Simon couldn’t walk the rest of the journey with her, she felt assured that the Lord Himself would be her traveling companion, and guide her safely to her destination. No, it wasn't going to be easy, but God...

© 2006 from the manuscript,  This October

Don't worry, pray about it...

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT


The old folks' counsel has always been some of the best I've ever received. "Chile, if you got a problem, pray about it"; "Sugar if you got a question, ask the Lord!" As I've said, it took me a while to really get the full benefit of a consistent prayer life. I look back and realize that God blessed me mightily by choosing my parents and extended family before I was born. They raised me to know about Him. God was even looking out for me when He blessed me with my first husband, the late, great, R. Lamont Wynn. And as we raised our children and grew more and more involved in ministry - we began to see how crucial it is for believers to pray for guidance and discernment about every decision; especially the major ones! As a result of our understanding, we sat down with our three children and instructed them thoroughly, with the Bible as our source, on the importance of being selective and prayerful in everything.

It is evident, as we look around today, that young people are not consulting the Lord first about important relationship choices; unfortunately, neither are the older people. Then there are instances when "praying people" ask for the wrong things because we want what we want and we know we're supposed to "run it by" Jesus. (James 4:2-3)  Men and women going through divorce have shared with me that they realized they hadn't been specific when they prayed for a wife or husband. One brother told me, "I prayed for someone who is smart, career minded, beautiful and of my same denomination; and that's what I got. I forgot to ask for someone who was loving, compassionate and knows the Lord."  I had to agree, there's a big difference. Quite honestly, even believers who know to "ask the Lord" - are usually already decided upon someone, or, will make a mistake due to impatience. So, I'm not saying God gave that brother that particular wife. (because God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16 NLT says it straight out!) But I do know that this brother knows what he's looking for now, is asking the Lord to work his issues out  - and is waiting for her, if it be God's will.

Our choices, when guided by fervent prayer as we seek His will, are blessed. We should be specific, keeping in mind the type of character we desire in a mate. There need not be any rush, or anxiety, worry, or pressure. As the above text so aptly puts it - don't worry, pray about (some things? no!) EVERYTHING! Be thankful to God for what He's already done... take your hands off of it, watch for His signals, and enjoy the peace that comes from knowing He's handling your business - thoroughly! (Ask me how I know!)

Blessings


https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Prayer - an intimate connection

It took me nearly 40 years to understand the importance of prayer, and how this form of communication with the Lord brings not only comfort and peace, it binds our hearts closer to Him. Prayer, in my opinion, is simply a conversation with our very best Friend. God loves us with an everlasting love and with His lovingkindness He has drawn us to Him! (paraphrase Jeremiah 31:3). No human being can claim that!

Many of us have heard it said, "prayer is the key that unlocks heaven's doors", or "prayer is the key in the hand of faith", and, "prayer is the key to the heart of God." Well, I believe all of the above. It's not that the omniscient God doesn't know what's in our thoughts, or is unaware of our concerns - because the Bible says He knows even the secret things! (Daniel 2:20-22) Our communion with God is more about relationship with Him. And prayers are not always requests; things we want God to do for us. A prayer may be a simple "thank You, Lord", in the morning when we open our eyes to see a brand new day. A prayer may be a conversation with the Lord while driving to work - going over plans and seeking His guidance. I have found, in my own experience, how having "a little talk with Jesus", really does clear my mind. And even when things don't go well, my foundation stands firm. I'm not shaken because I've fortified my mind, heart and soul and have the assurance of His divine presence. The proof is usually manifested in the way a potentially horrible outcome is buoyed or even avoided because of a word placed in my mouth at the right time - when I would have otherwise made things worse (in the flesh). I've tried handling things my way, and I know the difference. Now, I never leave home without spending time in prayer and the Word!

Prayer gives us supernatural powers! Power to love the unlovable, and give of ourselves when we're really not in the mood, seeking nothing in return! We're not alone when we've asked the Lord to order our steps in His Word. (Ps 37:23; 119:133) God knows us by heart, and when we've been communicating with Him on a regular basis, He grants us the desires of our hearts because we've become one in the Spirit with Him and His Son, Jesus. (Ps 37:4) We're not perfect, by any means, but we're sons and daughters after God's own heart because we have accepted His Gift of love!  If someone has wronged us, we as believers know we must forgive! (Matt. 5:14-15; Mark 11:25-26) When we do wrong, we confess (agree) our error before Him and ask forgiveness, and He does!(1 John 1:9)  If we have wronged someone, we know that the Word of God requires us to ask that person for forgiveness. (Matt. 5:22-24)  AND HE GIVES US THE POWER TO WALK THE TALK!  Prayer for strength in difficult situations is God's specialty. I know that the favor and blessings I receive in my life are due to the powerful prayers of friends and family on my behalf. And so, my relationship with God is ever increasing because of His faithfulness toward me - I can't help but praise and thank Him daily for grace - which is unmerited favor!

When we open ourselves to a closer walk with God, we cannot remain the same. Our thought processes change; our way of life changes. Our friends may not even recognize us anymore. (we won't recognize ourselves!) And some friends will fall by the waysi(de because of the light that shines within you. We have heard it said that prayer changes things. I'm a living witness to this fact. When we allow the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, into our hearts (which is Christ dwelling within us) - we begin an amazing transformation! (Romans 12:1-2; Philippians 2:5)

You know how we say, when someone has spent quality time with their beloved, there is a glow about them? The glow is even more intense when we've had an intimate connection with our Lord and Savior. It's unexplainable, but for those who have daily communion with God, it's understood.

I pray that we become more curious about the joy a closer walk can bring us through an intentional, prayerful connection with God. I guarantee you more fulfillment than you've ever known!

Blessings!

Boaz Ministries

It's been a little while since I posted here. Much has been going on and I'm here to share the news about the relationship ministry I'm now involved in with my husband, Bruce Edwards.

Boaz Ministries was Bruce's idea a few years ago, and his aim and mission was to encourage men, single and married, in developing and sustaining strong, healthy, loving  and Godly relationships with their women and wives. The name "Boaz" is taken from the book of Ruth in the Bible. Boaz was a just and noble man and his is an amazing story of protection, devotion and love.  Today, we'd definitely call him "marriage material", a real man! My Christian sistas out there already understand, with a knowing smile, when the name "Boaz" is mentioned.

By definition, Boaz means, "in strength" - and is a fitting name for this ministry. My background in family services/counseling, is a wonderful blend, and therefore, Bruce and I joined forces and extended our reach to include women, single, premarital, and married. We understand that the family is the foundation of our communities and society. We see there is a spiritual attack against the family - and the battle cannot be won using ordinary (carnal) weapons.

At Boaz Ministries, we seek to provide some relief, encouragement, tips, counsel and prayer - all based on the Word of God.  For as I have written elsewhere on this blog - there isn't any human situation that the Bible does not speak to, whether specifically or in principle.

We have a Facebook page and I welcome you to come by and take a look. From time to time I will also post insights here that Bruce and I will share at Boaz Ministries.

http://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Beware of "Blessing Blockers", Ladies and Gentlemen

Just a quick and necessary word for singles who wish to be selective and discriminating when choosing a life mate. I'm talking marriage - complete with the paperwork.

The term "blessing blocker" isn't my own. It was coined by a sister/friend of mine who, at the mature age of 50 plus, and two previous marriages that ended in divorce, understands the importance of waiting on the Lord. Since becoming single for the second time, she's had the occasional gentleman caller to show interest. However, she's not rushing. And when she felt one suitor was trying to press her for a more serious relationship, she took a step back and let him know that his approach was not acceptable. All along she had been praying for the Lord to reveal if this man was indeed "the one".  Then she did her research. Yes she did. And number one, he wasn't even available to court. He was not divorced yet. (a major detail that seems to be omitted far too often - even at this age!!!) Second... he has a criminal record. YES he does - of the most unsavory kind!  Not a good look.

Needless to say, she was relieved to get the 4-1-1 that he wasn't sharing. And that's when she told me, "...because I don't need anyone to be blocking my blessing! I have no time to waste with the wrong one."

Please note: this message is for the gentlemen, too. I'm just passing it along to anyone who will hear. But don't just take my word for it:


"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
Psalm 27:14 KJV