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| "Pilgrim Journey", 2018 |
"Who am I and what am I supposed to do?" During my formative years, all I knew to do was what I was told. And I was fairly obedient to my parents - as the first child - I tried to please them as much as possible. But I was always curious, and, admittedly, precocious - though never to the extent of scandal, embarrassment, or the ruination of my family's reputation.
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| Circa 1961 |
I was pleasant and easy-going - likable. Those who did not like me thought I was snooty, uppity (what I was told by black and white, alike) - which I later took to mean I had confidence in myself. However, even though my persona portrayed self-assurance and politeness -within, I had no clue about my ultimate role in life- beyond going to college and one day being a wife and mother. And singing alto in the choir.
It wasn't until I was re-baptized at the age of 38 (I was ll years old when first baptized), after attending an old-fashioned, down home tent revival - that pieces of the puzzle of my life began to come together. I knew that God had called me out. For what, I didn't know at the time. But what a ride that became! Just as I made my covenant to serve the Lord - all hell broke loose! I recognized - in all honesty - that the enemy was losing one of his best 'double agents', and he wasn't happy about it! When all was supposed to be bright and beautiful as a new creature in Christ, I experienced a "dark period". It was "low key" and out of the public eye; but the struggle to shake the devil off was real, and lasted a good 10 years.
In my work in social services and later, in the ministries in which I participated, it became clearer to me why I was born, and how God would get the glory through my testimony. While working at a County agency, I met a client, who, after attending my orientation, came to my desk for the intake process. I shall never forget this encounter:
She was a middle aged white woman who I thought was mean, judging from the scowl she wore during my class - so I was a bit apprehensive. When she began to speak, her voice was soft and pleasant, and startled me. After gathering pertinent information from her, she said, "I've been watching you, you might have noticed. And I have a word for you. The Holy Spirit told me to tell you that you are here, in this place, to set the captives free. Not just us - the clients. But everyone. Your coworkers, your friends, strangers, everyone. God gave you this assignment, and He'll give you the power to do what He's put before you."
I was dumbfounded. I was 42 years old at the time, married with 3 children, and had been through a lot - two steps forward, five steps backward - the whole nine. Truth be told, I wouldn't usually listen when folks say what the spirit told them (skeptical of which spirit, you see), but I took to heart what she told me. There was something sincere about her, in complete contrast to her outward appearance. Throughout the years I'd recall her prophetic words, just to measure the distance from then to the current time, and in times of transitions in my life. 20 years have passed since I met that lady. I'm able to say that all of my ups and downs and twists and turns have molded and made me into the soldier in God's army that He called me to be.
The Lord continues to make, mold, break, build, lead, guide me and He is faithful to His promises.
There is a special sense of peace, joy and satisfaction when we finally know why we're here. We can ask - and He will answer. I can look back on my very crooked path and see the wisdom in the series of events, and the choices that made no sense at the time.
Happiness is knowing God chose us first. My purpose is ministry - everywhere I go, and in every aspect of my life. The Lord and I are in a deep, committed, love relationship. I'm here to introduce others to this amazing Love; to make eternal connections with those who are also on this pilgrim journey. As a believer, there is no higher purpose, and I'm here to put in work for the duration of the time He's given me on this earthly plane.
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| My nieces at my book signing at B&N, 2006 Singing in the choir at my father's memorial service, 2015 CD cover of Revived! Ministries' sole album, dedicated to RL Wynn, 2010 Reading "Come, Joy! Songs from the soft of night" at B&N, 2006 |
