Looking Back, Moving Forward

 A dog and her best friend. Lexus the Rottie and R. Lamont, RIP

One of the things about me that seems to annoy my loved ones is my habit of taking candid photos. They say I invade their space, privacy, etc., when I snap a picture without warning.

Of course, because they know this about me, they should always be 'ready', I reason. When all is said and done, however, the end result is a crowd pleaser and a treasure to last a lifetime and beyond.

I'm glad for my obsession with taking pictures (I even demand them from my children when they are traveling). They help me join in the snapshot; relive the memorable moments in my life. Times when small details of a seemingly ordinary day open up in the same old way, and sometimes, a brand new way at second glance. A picture can bring tears of joy, thanksgiving to the heart and soul, because once upon a time, life happened. And it was good.

The picture here shows my late husband and his best friend trailing behind him on a desert path. They were walking ahead of me, and it was Valentine's Day, 2010. Both of them are gone now. But here they are again, in this timeless frame.

This picture-love I have is cathartic and gives me strength as I move forward. 

Before You Say "I Do"

Folks can always get together to pose for the perfect family picture, can’t they? After “Pray and Keep Praying”, here is number two of the TOP FIVE "ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO LIST" for the single, marriage-minded and engaged:

OBSERVE THE FAMILY!
 
If you fail to see the importance of pre-marital family observation because your loved one is so amazingly wonderful, then you're already in trouble! What you don't know WILL hurt you sooner than later. Guaranteed.

Ladies have heard the advice about watching how your man treats his mother. This counsel is deeply rooted in age-old, time-tested experience. Men, it's equally important to check how your lady regards her father. Ask yourself, “How does my loved one engage with both parents?” And in the absence of parents, what's the relationship/interaction with other family members? There continues to be too many "surprises" after marriage due to the lack of attention to details that were red flags all over the place during the dating period.

If you've made your selection - please be informed. When you've decided that this person is THE ONE - then you should already know, as much as possible, about any congenital and heredity issues. These important conversations need to be had well before you say, "I do". You're playing for keeps and there's nothing wrong with equipping each other with the whole truth so the final decision is truly guided by LOVE.

Take the time to spend time with the family of your beloved; you will learn many things from close observation. Watch how problems are solved (or not), listen carefully to what people say (and don't say). They will be YOUR family one day.

It is much better and more honorable to bow out gracefully before going to the altar, based on careful and prayerful consideration, than feeling stuck in the quicksand of dysfunction and resentment.