Everybody Smiling At You, Ain't Your Real Friends

Excuse the title in the vernacular - I slip into it occasionally...

(from Boaz Ministries )

A wise person once said, "you can tell who your true friends are by the way they respond to the triumphs in your life." There's Biblical foundation for discerning who our friends are. Plenty of it.

A favorite passage of Scripture is found in Romans 12 - where the Apostle Paul is encouraging believers to love genuinely, without faking it and to have the same mind toward one another. From this description of how love among friends ought to "behave", we can determine who the REAL friends are in our circle. The entire chapter is good for our edification (yea, the entire book). Sharing verses 9-16, emphasis on verse 15. Just a word to the wise....

(New International Reader's Version)

9Love must be honest and true. Hate what is evil. Hold on to what is good.
10 Love each other deeply. Honor others more than yourselves.
11 Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord.
12 When you hope, be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful.
13 Share with God's people who are in need. Welcome others into your homes.
14 Bless those who hurt you. Bless them, and do not call down curses on them.
15 Be joyful with those who are joyful. Be sad with those who are sad.
16 Agree with each other. Don't be proud. Be willing to be a friend of people who aren't considered important. Don't think that you are better than others.

Relationship Sign Posts - How Are We Looking To Others?

Couples who are intentional in their relationship with the Lord, actively seeking His guidance daily - will send the clear message to outsiders - SLOW YOUR ROLL, GOD'S IN CONTROL! God's hedge of protection surrounding your marriage will check all foolishness that will try to come against you to drive you apart. Let us be mindful of the signs we have posted, through our behavior. Guard your union, fiercely!

What's Past is Past

From Boaz Ministries

 

Entrepreneur Stephen Covey says, “The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.”

It never ceases to amaze me how people can bring up situations or conversations that happened years ago with all the details when they want to make a point about something that is happening in the present.

This is especially true when a couple has a heated discussion or argument and one or both people throw salt on old wounds leaving the other person bewildered as to the relevance of something that happened long ago, to the current issue. The circumstances surrounding the current discussion or argument are totally different from what happened in the past. This is almost always done to hurt not help.

When arguments and disagreements are not resolved one way or another, they seem to have a way of popping back up at the most inappropriate times, adding even more confusion and bitterness to an already negative situation.

Inserting old stuff into new situations is at best counter productive and at worst it prevents couples from getting to a point where they know where each other is coming from as it relates to what they are talking about or dealing with right now. The “main thing” is what we as couples are dealing with right now without baggage of the past coming into play. Maintaining a loving relationship is never easy, but we make it harder than it has to be if we can’t move forward because we keep bringing up the past.

Bruce Edwards

Abiding, Steadfast, Unchanging Love

From Boaz Ministries

 

Abiding and steadfast love is devotion that never changes though circumstances come and go. We hear the saying "through thick and thin", we've spoken the vows "till death do us part" - and all those conditions that may (and do) arise in the course of living. Yet when tried and tested, some of us falter to the point of dissolution of the marriage. Where, then, was the commitment? How and when did love become "conditional"? And what gives anyone the right to make such a selfish choice?

When we know God, we get a glimpse of His love through the grace and mercy extended to us daily. Some of us realize how undeserving we are, and the thought of His unspeakable kindness toward us makes us grateful, and humble. God doesn't change, He cannot lie, and His love endures forever. That's abiding and steadfast loving. (I call it fierce!)

As believers, we are to mirror God's image, by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Word of God gives us clear descriptions of His character. A favorite passage of Scripture is found in Hebrews 13:8:

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever."

He is unchangeable. So is His love. Let us look well to the vows we make to one another. Remember Who we represent as we come together in matrimony. Allow God's love to permeate and saturate your relationship. Agree with one another to remain solid through the trials. Seek the Lord together in prayer, and watch Him guide you from glory to glory, victory to victory!

May our life stories be a testimony of ever increasing faith, and unconditional, unchanging love for generations to come.

Covered by Love!

From Boaz Ministries

It works something like this:

When we access the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer and study of the Word of God, the practice of preferring one another over ourselves becomes a habit. The principle of LOVE begins to kick in and where our partners fall short, we're there to take up the slack (and vice versa). This is why we would never, ever speak ill of our mates to outsiders - knowing our only recourse is to take our concerns directly to the Lord and to our loved one. Under the guidance of sound, Godly counsel the problem is resolved, the wound is healed - and no one is the wiser. You're covered. God's way is awesome! And He means for us to share this selflessness with the rest of the body of believers. Our relationships/marriages should bear the image of Christ; shining His light to everyone we encounter along this journey.

Let's cover one another - fiercely!

Finding Love

From Boaz Ministries

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

~Ivan Penin~

There is no shortage of quality men; there is no shortage of quality women. There is only time, circumstance and complete enthusiastic faith that God will put you in the right circumstance at the right time to meet and be in love with the right person feeling the same for you. And BTW, when you both know it’s God; it’s God.

Bruce Edwards

A word of caution to single and married folks, alike..

 From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

One of our single readers asked if we would be speaking to some of the challenges unmarried people face, especially those who are trying to live Godly. Bruce and I agree that while the focus at Boaz is largely on the folks who are already coupled, there's still food for thought that transfers easily across the divide into the single lane. That is, single people can also benefit from the counsel we present to the married/committed folks, because as they observe potential mates, the eye of discernment is sharpened. We want to provide sustenance for all readers, therefore, we are open to topic suggestions, questions, and the like.

Here's something I believe is important to share on the topic of single-hood: Some years ago, one of my male co-workers told me something I'll never forget. He was divorced and not dating at the time, after having had a tumultuous marriage and three teen-aged children. We'd been talking about relationships, and this man looked me square in the face and said, "The only thing worse than being alone, is wishing you were..."

Don't sleep! And guard your singleness jealously; be selective in your choices. LOVE.YOURSELF. FIERCELY!

 

 

Before you say, "I Do"...

From Boaz Ministries https://www.facebook.com/theboazministries

Folks can always get together to pose for the perfect family pic, correct? Well, today I must share something that needs to be at the top of the "ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO LIST" for all single/dating individuals:

1. OBSERVE THE FAMILY!

I cannot stress this enough, beloved. And if you don't think it's important because your loved one is so amazingly wonderful, you're already in trouble! What you don't know WILL hurt you sooner than later, I guarantee it.

Ladies, we've heard the advice about watching how he treats his mother. This counsel is deeply rooted in age-old, time-tested experience. Men, it's equally important to check how your lady regards her father. And in the absence of parents, what's the relationship/interaction with other family members? I have witnessed too many "surprises" after marriage due to the lack of attention to details that were red flags all over the place during the dating period. Folks went ahead and got married; now they're "stuck".

If you've made your selection - please be informed. When you've decided that this person is THE ONE - then you should already know, as much as possible, about any congenital and heredity issues. These important conversations need to be had well before you say, "I do". You're playing for keeps and there's nothing wrong with equipping each other with the whole truth so the final decision is truly guided by LOVE.

I will say it again - with emphasis: OBSERVE THE FAMILY! Spend time with them, learn about idiosyncrasies, watch how problems are solved (or not), listen carefully to what people say (and don't say). This will be YOUR family one day. (Please don't think that you only marry the individual - wrong!)

It is much better and more honorable to throw up deuces before going to the alter, based on careful and prayerful consideration, than wishing you had.

From the Real Life Files - God is in control!

I've recently relocated to the Maryland/DC area from southern California. Bruce and I are making our home here on the east coast, and it's a very exciting time for us.

I was just on the phone with my mother, who lives in California. Now that I'm all the way over here, we are keeping in touch much more often - she's as excited for me as I am! We'd been talking about the gatherings we had recently, when Bruce went to California and met all of my people a couple of months ago. It was such a good time, and he was welcomed warmly by my closest friends and family (including my 3 adult children). It was especially wonderful because my eldest daughter and her hubby who live in South Korea had timed it so they would be in the States to meet him. (before that, Skype was the way we kept in touch!) Well, here on the east coast, there's more family. And this is so significant because they are my in-laws from my late husband's side! From the time I informed my mother-in-law and all my sisters-in-law that I was courting Bruce, the response was positive and supportive. My mother-in-law had been in California when Bruce was there, so she'd already met him. She absolutely loves him! Her endorsement made it even more wonderful when he came to Maryland last week to meet the rest of Bro.Wynn's family! (I must note here, that Bruce had been invited by Bro. Wynn to join us in our online Bible study, back in 2010, before he passed away. Bruce accepted the invitation, and is now a regular member/contributor to our studies every Sunday morning! Look at God!)

Bruce told me that the family's open-arms-acceptance of him is a testament of how much they love me. My mother said the same just now, and she added something else: my Maryland family appreciate my devotion to their son/brother through thick and thin, and they can be genuinely happy for my new life. I will add something publicly that the Lord revealed to me privately:

The Lord allowed me to dot my i's and cross my t's in my first marriage - and brought me to a place of absolute restoration and peace. He had perfected His work in my late husband, and said "well done." Though death parted us, my ministry would continue, and there is indeed so much more to do. My children and I will carry on the legacy of love that was begun - and through all the trials we've experienced, and those to come - God's will shall be done and His name shall be glorified. My husband, Bruce, has been called to play an important role in this part of the journey... and I am pleased to say he's accepted that call, as well.

I've had the pleasure of meeting Bruce's daughter and her fiance' and a few other family members. I am happy to welcome new family as we move forward and get settled. I think of what my grandmother, Motherdear, used to say - "Life is full of new experiences! Enjoy them all!" I agree, and I am, with all my might!

Where some skeptics from the outside see all this as either impossible, unusual and even unbelievable, I submit they have no idea of the power and reality of God's infinite love! Make no mistake, my dears, God is in control!!