Joy in the journey!

 from Boaz Ministries

There are no coincidences in this life. As we move through each day and truly pay attention to the details of our circumstances, we begin to discern lessons meant for us to learn – at times by the most unlikely individuals. Sometimes we are the teacher, sometimes the student – but we are ever gaining, gleaning, gathering and giving. Times of trouble also serve to stretch us, teaching us about ourselves and others; growing us up into full maturity where experience and knowledge beget wisdom.

No matter what kind of year 2012 has been, we are blessed to be here at the threshold of a new year. Let us be thankful for everything, great and small, that took place in our lives this year. If we reflect on the various situations, conversations, confrontations and celebrations, there should be a sense of gratitude for the experiences.

2013 is a clean slate, only God knows what lies ahead.  As we ask Him to order our steps in His Word, may our hearts and eyes be open to new opportunities to bless; and we need not fret about the “destination”. For come what may or will - there is joy in the journey! 

May the Lord bless you and yours in the New Year!

Bruce and Bridget Edwards

The Beauty of Our Time

In recent weeks and days, there have been losses of friends and loved ones. It is especially difficult during the holiday season. Today, a very dear high school friend of mine passed away suddenly and I am praying for his family and all of us who knew him and love him still. Makes me even more aware of how precious and fragile this life is, and why I encourage each of us to love one another dearly, fiercely, while we yet have breath. I wrote a poem in loving memory of a cousin who passed away too young not long ago, and I wanted to share a portion of it here with the hope that we will indeed cherish the love we've been given every moment we have life.

Wisdom

I didn't know what to title this thought - so I chose the one word I think will sum it all up by the end of my story.

Recently, I had a ring-side seat to a family drama. And as I watched it play out before my eyes, I was struck by the fact that so many things, yea, almost EVERYTHING we are or become as adults is so tightly tied to what happened to us as children. Of course, this isn't anything new.  But what I was able to witness was how individuals formulate their whole world views and ideas based on their perception of the ideas and actions of others during their early years...and not necessarily what the others' intentions were. And so, a mother who was cautious and careful with a son who was medically fragile as a child, out of love and concern, might be perceived as overbearing and controlling by that same son, by the time he becomes an adult. Everything is now skewed, and exaggerated, and bitterness sets in - and people in the family align themselves on opposite sides. Unhealthy patterns persist, and the players seem to be helplessly drawn into the same types of scenarios - yearly.

Thankfully, I had no role in this drama, at least, not historically. (I don't do drama) I came on the scene and was merely an observer; but I am family, just the same. I was saddened by its affect on everyone - including the one who was at the center of the discord. That individual is the one I identified as hurting the most. The one who has not resolved past issues and needs to be freed from all the pain inside. I saw, up close and personal, that the saying "misery loves company" is all too true.

In the midst of the turmoil, my knee-jerk reaction was to send a message to my husband. I remember typing this whole line about what was going on, how it was so unnecessary and sad, especially at this time of year when families need to come together, etc., etc. I pressed "send", feeling slightly relieved, and waited for his reply.

He sent back a text with one word: "Pray."  I must say I was stunned. I needed that advice, and the family needed prayer at that moment. So thankful for a husband who is in tune to what the will of God is in times of need. I was ready to go somewhere completely different on this subject - but God knew how to redirect my thoughts.  As a result, the door can be open for healing in the family to begin.

Untitled - a bit of a rant

Like a good many people, I enjoy this time of year. But I want to speak briefly about why I don't view Christmas as some special, "holy" celebration. Number one, its origins are anything but holy. Theologians and lay Bible students across the globe realize it's not the actual birthday of Jesus Christ. (the info is available if one cares to do the research)  Some would challenge me with the question, "What's wrong with recognizing the birth of Christ on December 25?" My answer is this: He never asked that of us, nor is it a requirement for entrance into His Kingdom. And, how would any one of us appreciate people arbitrarily deciding when to celebrate our birthday?

What He did ask of us, what He does require of us - is so much tougher to accomplish, it seems. We actually need to be in a love relationship with Him and the Father, through faith, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to please Him. And that's the part I care to focus on: what pleases Him.

Never being one to want to throw cold water on people's fun and enjoyment of the holidays, I simply refrain from conversations about "the reason for the season." Merchants and shoppers make it clear (to me) what the true reason for this season is, and that begins the day after Thanksgiving! We've got "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday" - all gearing us up for the big day when St. Nick and Jesus get folded into some kind of frenzied stew.

Thinking people (who may not even believe in Jesus) can see Christmas is not about Christ. When you look at what takes place in the country from about September through December - it's insulting to His name. MORE people care about being ready for Christmas, than for Christ's return.(I'm talking about the group who bear His name as believers)

I shake my head in amazement. I also nod my head with understanding, and I respect people's right to believe and do as they please during these holidays. It's a wonderful time for families and friends to come together to share of their goodwill and bounty. I'm good with that. Completely. I'm not good with the foisting of some fictitious (and pagan) birthday on my Lord and Savior which serves to manipulate and exploit the masses because of the utter greed that is rampant in the land.

That's my story, that's my song - on this subject. I will add that I wish everyone a safe and joyous holiday season with their loved ones. And I am doing the same!

If Just One

From Boaz Ministries

The Extra Mile

From Boaz Ministries

When we love someone, it's not difficult to stretch beyond our normal limits, or step outside our comfort zones to be and do whatever is necessary for that person; especially in the newness of a relationship. Sometimes, as the road gets longer, and rougher, those former acts of bending over backwards and acquiescing become harder to perform. This is most puzzling because when we think of a life partnership moving forward and growing stronger, it should follow that the bond between two (who are one) will cause an even greater sense of giving of oneself for the betterment of the other.

Couples committed to protecting one another by maintaining a safe and secure environment - where trust and respect are non-negotiable (and where both agree on the definitions of same) - will not fall into the trap of feeling used and abused when situations arise that cause them to make a personal sacrifice, or be "the leader", or "the stronger one". Love doesn't keep score. Love doesn't give up. Love doesn't complain. Love will go the extra mile when only one mile is needed. Love is tenacious and enthusiastic; in a word, "fierce"!

God's Hand in Social Media

Boaz Ministries

What a blessing it is that so many pages on Facebook are dedicated to uplifting couples and supporting the growth and positive development of relationships between men and women and husbands and wives. 

It is encouraging to know that so many people care about people they don’t know; realizing that men and women are not natural enemies but rather a bi-product of God’s divine plan for the expression of love, affection, pro-creation and togetherness. Nothing is more natural and can be no closer to the will of God than when men and women are together as one.

God has an angle in everything, including Facebook. We are all blessed who utilize it to honor him by helping others in any way that we can. It is my prayer that every couple no matter where they are as a couple, no matter what their circumstances might be; keep striving to be more loving, patient and understanding.

Bruce

December 11, 2012

Birthday blessings!

Today, December 11, is Bruce's birthday! And using the letters of his first name, I wanted to honor him with an acrostic poem; my humble attempt to describe the person God has been molding and shaping along this journey. He's been blessed with health and strength and I thank the Lord for His continual mighty acts in Bruce's life, our marriage and ministry!

Amen.

The Importance of Encouragement

Boaz Ministries

Nothing kills a man’s spirit faster and deeper than when his woman pours cold water on his ideas. Likewise, nothing hurts a woman more than her man telling her that what she wants to do will not succeed.

It would be hard to disagree that children need love and encouragement in order for them to be successful in their endeavors. And like children, the people we as adults love are the ones we need encouragement from the most.

We want to please the ones we love and we want that person to be proud of us and support what we are doing in life, business, health, etc. However, if that person is not supportive, the effect over time is the same as telling a child he or she can’t do something or they will not succeed at something. Self-esteem can be broken or built whether we’re children or grown, and it’s not merely a “female issue”. We all need to be lifted up and encouraged to strive for the things we want to achieve in life; and who better than our wife, husband, or the person we share our lives with to give us a pat on the back or a loving shove to keep us focused and on track?

In some cases, ideas are an emotional and impulsive reaction to a particular situation and will probably peter out over time. As a loving partner, our role is to encourage if not totally support for one reason or another. Even if we think an idea is far-fetched or have a reasonable and educated opinion as to why an endeavor may not work; we must pray for ways to express our concerns without breaking the other person’s spirit, and provide insights for other options they may want to consider. Our loved ones must feel we are always here for whatever they have to share.

Bruce

1Like · · Sha

My Name Change(s) - Or, back to basics

JFYI - My parents (Don & Anna Greathouse) named me Bridget Alyce (a-leese). It is on my birth certificate. In 3rd grade, I took it upon myself to add the extra "t" and "e". It worked all the way through getting my SS card, driver license, and other legal docs (CALIFORNIA was laid back like that, I suppose). Then I MOVED TO MARYLAND! They don't play, and my info going forward had to match what is on my birth certificate. So, after all these years, my parents are vindicated. When I told my mother about it, she was very pleased. My eyes are adjusting to the shortened version - but change is good....

signed

Bridget Greathouse Edwards

Love and Kindness Is Never Weakness

From Boaz Ministries

Many times we feel that our love and kindness is taken for granted and taken as a sign of weakness. At times it may appear that way based on how we are treated or not being treated by our loved ones.

Be assured that love and kindness toward others is a sign of our strength and our ability to tolerate shortcomings in others and to press forward with what we know as the right way to be. We are not responsible for the actions of others; we are only responsible for what we do and how we react to others. If love and kindness is in our hearts and that manifests into how we treat others, then we are the strong ones in the eyes of God.

Love is power and love is strength. Lacking the ability to love and show kindness is the real weakness in a relationship, never the other way around.

Bruce

The Mesaure of A Man

Last summer, Bruce and I visited the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Monument in Washington, DC. There are several of Dr. King's famous quotes engraved in a long, winding stone wall behind his statue. I wanted to share one of our favorite quotes, with a favorite picture I took of Bruce at the wall:

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience,  but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy." Strength to Love, 1963

Mind Meld

If I could touch your mind
with the life I've lived
for the past 5 plus decades
You'd have clarity
And though you may disagree with
some of the choices I made
You'd have a road map of my journey
That can undoubtedly help you with the rest
of yours...

Bridget Edwards © 2012

Recipe For A Healthy Family Mix

At our worship time, after having eaten a wonderful evening meal this past weekend, everyone gave their testimonies, giving thanks and praise to the Lord for His excellent care and many blessings. We all were grateful for the joy of coming together with family and friends, one more time. But it was my son, Jonathan, whose insights really touched me, so much so, that I wanted to share here.

My son, visiting from college, said that as he listened to each of us speak about our concern for those who don’t have families or friends to spend the holidays with as we do, his thoughts were on people he knows who do have family, but don’t have healthy, loving relationships with them. And it surprised him to hear how they did not look forward to spending the holidays with their families. He went on to say how it made him want to extend an invitation to join him, because he knew they would be accepted among us without question.

What Jonathan discovered about troubled family mixes is a sad reality. But what he said about our family is true.  I am thrilled by the warm reception and love Bruce has received since we married. This family is a wonderful mix of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews – and no one is considered an “in-law”; we’re simply “Family.”  There were new friends present, old friends, friends of friends; children (now grown) of old friends, who have relocated to this part of the country – and all of them know they have a home away from home, right here - anytime. The Thanksgiving holiday in this family is an extended weekend that merely begins on Thursday (not including the marathon cooking that takes place days beforehand!) and culminates at the Saturday evening, or Sabbath meal. The fellowship flows, and everyone is welcome – no matter how last minute the arrival; there’s always plenty!

When I considered what it takes to create a healthy family mix, I thought about the importance of a couple being on one accord about “family” from the start. No matter how dysfunctional the backgrounds of either or both partners, in order to establish loving, nurturing familial environments, the original two must be in agreement on how they will foster healthy relationships throughout their generations; what will become the traditions, and how they will be upheld.  This is why we strongly encourage couples to pray together, and invite the Lord into their marriages – no matter where you find yourselves along the timeline. It is not too late; He can turn anything around!   For those who are marriage-minded, engaged, or newlywed; by all means, keep God at the head and the center of your lives. 

Let us make prayerful, intentional efforts to cultivate loving environments in our homes, where anyone who is in need of a warm embrace, a home-cooked meal, or a word of encouragement, will feel safe, secure; welcome to come again, happy to do so, and bring a friend!  

That's fierce loving at its best!

Going to church...yet unequally yoked..(yeah, I'm going in)

From Boaz Ministries 

This condition is more common than people think. And for years now, couples getting married “in the church” have been divorcing at the same rate as those who don’t profess any religious beliefs.

Today,we’ll discuss, briefly, the fallacy that it’s all good to marry church-going folks, because, after all, they “believe.” The question, however, is: “what do they believe?” Back in the day, I used to think a pretty good sign of a potential husband was someone who would go to church with me. Of course, that “magical thinking” quickly faded because anyone can put on a good front for a little while. I also thought, for a time, that those who were raised in the same faith, or denomination, were good to go. (get married, that is) Wrong. I also used to think that couples who were not of the same religious backgrounds were destined for divorce, and were as unequally yoked as a church-goer and an unbeliever. Wrong, again.

People who are mature in the Faith (on the meat, and not the milk), understand that it takes much more than a force-fed 12-step Bible study, a quick dip in the baptismal pool (and then a mad dash down the aisle), to make a Godly union work. I know too many men and women who erroneously pursued a spouse (whether in or out of the church), determining that God had answered their prayers- only to feel stuck in a loveless marriage; or end it in a messy divorce. This can be extremely traumatic for church people, because, unlike the rest of the world, most of us believe it when we read in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce. (He never divorces us; we leave Him) Church people are even stepping beyond the one “out” God gave us to divorce – adultery (which doesn’t have to be the end of marriage, and oftentimes is overcome). So what is going on? And what in the world is “irreconcilable differences”? (And why doesn’t God ever use that one against us?)

In my studied opinion, when our own relationship with the Lord isn’t as tight as it should be – we can’t hear Him or receive His warnings. We want what we want, and we’ll twist, bend, and compromise what we believe to get married. That he or she is a fellow “believer”, is one of the biggest tricks of all. We should be asking: What is their relationship with the Lord? (as opposed to how many offices they hold in the church; or the fact that they show up in the House regularly). How willing are they to grow in the Lord? Is she or he interested in going to the next level in their spiritual growth? What is their conversation? (lifestyle) Do they inspire and uplift you? Conversely, what do you bring to the table that is essential to building a stronger union because you’re in it? Are you both committed to working TOGETHER?

Merely attending church is not enough. Most of us know this. We should be mindful of what our lives look like the other six days of the week. This message is for the singles and the married. This is meant to challenge us to examine ourselves much more thoroughly before moving forward. Married couples – it’s not too late to correct and redirect. My hope is that we look deeper than our denomination as the main guideline for a loving spouse. So many of the same denomination are cussing, fussing, fighting, and pressing charges against one another (and going to jail!). Too many are overlooking the characteristic of most importance: Does he or she LOVE the Lord with all their heart, soul, strength and mind – and their neighbor as themselves? (Luke 10:27) Might that be a tall order to pray and wait for, or, as married couples, unite and work on? Let me ask this: Does anyone really have the time or the fortitude to leap into an unknown and most assuredly emotionally damaging abyss because of impatience, or wither away in a spiritually dead marriage because either or both are too tired or disgusted?

It boils down to trust in the Lord; really trusting Him. It’s about allowing Him to work on and in us – it is the first and most important act of submitting we’ll ever do. I know, I know, easy for me to write, but tough to accomplish. I’m a living witness to the power of God, and how His working inside us radiates through us and outward to everyone in our sphere. He brings us into alignment with His will, and creates the balance that is sorely needed in our lives, and relationships. God’s love and light exposes phonies, and any faking happening on the singles scene, will fall away and be revealed. God will have His dear ones thanking and praising Him for keeping them from a dead-end relationship. He’ll illuminate the minds of those who truly want to distinguish between the habitual church-attenders and the true believers. And if anyone is currently in the first category, He can fix that, too. God is fierce like that!

Reflective Listening

Here is a technique from the counselor’s handbook that works very well for couples who want to communicate effectively. If we’re honest, when we find ourselves in heated discussions (or arguments), sometimes there is a tendency to either; a.) talk over one another, or; b.) wait until the other person closes their mouth, then take off on our own tangent, never having heard a thing they just said! (or both) This is highly non-productive, destructive and extremely disrespectful. On top of all of that, we haven’t gained any understanding.

Reflective listening is very simple, and can provide both parties with so much more insight into the way the other thinks – which will greatly benefit you both in proportions you can’t imagine, down the line. So, the next time you and your beloved engage in conversation and there is something a little fluky in the translation that you just don’t quite get - before you get it twisted and blow up unnecessarily, try this:

Restate what your mate said, in your own words, as you understood it: i.e. “So, what I'm hearing you say is _______________.” This gives your loved one the opportunity to hear your understanding of what they just said. Many times what they said is not what they meant, and they will correct it immediately, and you can move on from there. However, there are times when what you heard is exactly what they said – and you can both know that the message was effectively transmitted. Each partner should incorporate this technique and with practice, you find it eases the flow of your discussions because you are working on a full and complete understanding at all times, with nothing getting lost in the translation.

This communication tool has the power to strengthen our bonds, when utilized properly. It shows your partner that you value their thoughts, input and opinions enough to get it right – no matter how difficult the topic of discussion. It shows commitment to the covenant you've made to one another. This is about growing together and working on that oneness God intended for us to experience. Try it – I guarantee you will appreciate the difference it will make. Keep it fierce, beloved!