Recipe For A Healthy Family Mix

At our worship time, after having eaten a wonderful evening meal this past weekend, everyone gave their testimonies, giving thanks and praise to the Lord for His excellent care and many blessings. We all were grateful for the joy of coming together with family and friends, one more time. But it was my son, Jonathan, whose insights really touched me, so much so, that I wanted to share here.

My son, visiting from college, said that as he listened to each of us speak about our concern for those who don’t have families or friends to spend the holidays with as we do, his thoughts were on people he knows who do have family, but don’t have healthy, loving relationships with them. And it surprised him to hear how they did not look forward to spending the holidays with their families. He went on to say how it made him want to extend an invitation to join him, because he knew they would be accepted among us without question.

What Jonathan discovered about troubled family mixes is a sad reality. But what he said about our family is true.  I am thrilled by the warm reception and love Bruce has received since we married. This family is a wonderful mix of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews – and no one is considered an “in-law”; we’re simply “Family.”  There were new friends present, old friends, friends of friends; children (now grown) of old friends, who have relocated to this part of the country – and all of them know they have a home away from home, right here - anytime. The Thanksgiving holiday in this family is an extended weekend that merely begins on Thursday (not including the marathon cooking that takes place days beforehand!) and culminates at the Saturday evening, or Sabbath meal. The fellowship flows, and everyone is welcome – no matter how last minute the arrival; there’s always plenty!

When I considered what it takes to create a healthy family mix, I thought about the importance of a couple being on one accord about “family” from the start. No matter how dysfunctional the backgrounds of either or both partners, in order to establish loving, nurturing familial environments, the original two must be in agreement on how they will foster healthy relationships throughout their generations; what will become the traditions, and how they will be upheld.  This is why we strongly encourage couples to pray together, and invite the Lord into their marriages – no matter where you find yourselves along the timeline. It is not too late; He can turn anything around!   For those who are marriage-minded, engaged, or newlywed; by all means, keep God at the head and the center of your lives. 

Let us make prayerful, intentional efforts to cultivate loving environments in our homes, where anyone who is in need of a warm embrace, a home-cooked meal, or a word of encouragement, will feel safe, secure; welcome to come again, happy to do so, and bring a friend!  

That's fierce loving at its best!