SEXUALITY, GOD'S GIFT

Boaz Ministries

Tomorrow, June 1, we will post our final message in the six-part series, "Sexuality, God's Gift." This coming Friday, June 6, we will present the conclusion. We hope to uplift, edify, encourage, inspire and bless someone!

SEXUALITY - GOD'S GIFT, PART 5 - For the Men

Boaz Ministries 

Don't Block Your Prayers!

Submitting to one another is an act Christians are admonished to do out of Spirit-filled love, in honor and reverence to God (Ephesians 5:21).  In1 Peter 2:13- 3:8, the Apostle gives instructions to certain groups of Christians to be submissive. And in chapter 3, specifically, he brings it home. “The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.” (1 Peter 3:1-2 Message). Peter continues with excellent insights and counsel to wives and their God given influence in the home.

The Apostle speaks to the husbands in verse 7- “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”  Simply put, husbands are to live in harmony with their wives and consider their needs, or run the risk of an ineffective prayer life (aka hindered prayers). 

If the truth were known, a healthy sexual relationship between husbands and wives might facilitate a richer prayer life. Surely living together with our wives in an understanding way, honoring and delighting in them includes the sexual relationship. And think about this: a sexually frustrated and irritated mate is not a good prayer partner.

SEXUALITY - GOD'S GIFT, PART 4 - For the Men

Boaz Ministries

Your Body Belongs to Her; Her Body Belongs to You

Among believers, one of the misunderstood, misapplied and under practiced teachings of the Bible is sex between husband and wife. Pastor Bob Deffinbaugh presents an exhaustive study in his article, “Sex and the Spiritual Christian, 1 Corinthians 7:1-7” (Bible.org, 2004). Beginning with attitudes of certain groups regarding sex among the Corinthians that are still prevalent in our day, Deffinbaugh discusses the origins of the idea that sex is dirty – even for married people. Along with that mindset was (and is) the belief that the wife is to please her husband sexually, but the husband has no responsibility to please his wife.

Paul sets the record straight for all time in 1 Corinthians 7:2-4:

“Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” These verses stress the mutuality of sexual pleasure and sexual duty.

The pleasure principle of sex between married couples is found in the Old Testament as well. In Proverbs 5:15-19, we find a beautiful, poetic passage from the wise King Solomon:

“Drink water from your own cistern, And fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.”

Brothers, Spirit-filled, satisfying sex is possible when there is mutual submission. Paul’s message to the Ephesians makes this very clear. In chapter 5, he gives godly instructions for Christian living – and brings it home from verses 21-33. Married believers should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ; wives must submit to their husbands out of love for Christ; husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church – which means they must love their wives as they love their own bodies! A woman who is being loved and cherished in this way will not likely have a problem “submitting”. And a man who is being respected by his wife will not tire of finding ways to please his wife, in and out of bed.

It is a brilliant plan for successful unions. And wholly holy.

SEXUALITY - GOD'S GIFT, PART 3 - For the Ladies

Work With the Way God Designed Him

Boaz Ministries

Many wives may be yearning to work on their marriages. Some women want their husbands to read relationship books with them or attend marriage seminars (and actually take notes). But how about getting his attention by working with the way God designed him? A great sex life won't solve the problems in marriage; however, it will fortify the husband's desire and commitment to work toward intimacy. Your sexual relationship could be the "on-ramp" to communication, conflict resolution, and building the emotional intimacy you desire. It's a potent force for encouraging reconciliation.

No amount of nagging, pleading, talking, or counseling can grab your husband's attention the way his sexual desire for you can. We see it in advertising. No approach is used more frequently or more successfully than sex appeal. Why not use it in your marriage? It has been said, "If you want to improve your marriage, invest in your underwear!"

By no means are we suggesting that you use sexuality to manipulate your husband! Withholding sex when you don't get your way or lavishing him with it when you do is manipulation. The Bible clearly states that married couples must not deprive one another unless the two are agreed – and even then, only for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5). We are encouraging women to embrace this fact: There are many forces in your husband's environment that use sex to garner his attention. They are stealing the power that God intended for you. Instead of sitting passively by, claim it!

In her book, “No More Headaches, Enjoying Intimacy in Your Marriage”, Dr. Juli Slattery says, “By God's good design, a man's sex drive is strong. If it is harnessed and intensified within marriage, it can be an incredible force fastening a man's affections and passions to his wife.” And we agree. It is right and godly to claim your husband’s sexual desire as a potent source of influence in your marriage. The Word of God tells us in Hebrews 13:4 that marriage is honorable among all and the bed, pure, undefiled! This is a sanctified and sacred part of a couple’s life that is not to be shared with anyone else. And it is an area given to creativity of expression.

Satan consistently twists into evil what God designed for good. Ladies - and gentlemen, this power that was intended for your marital intimacy is VERY good! Work it!

SEXUALITY - GOD'S GIFT, PART 2 - For the Ladies

Boaz Ministries

The Right to Be Jealous



Let’s deal with that “J” word before we go on. In Part 1, we stated that wives should be jealous and possessive of their husband’s sex drive. In most of our minds, we think of jealousy as a very negative thing. However, the word “jealous” has a few definitions, and there is one that fits the spirit of the statement perfectly. “Jealous: to be fiercely protective and vigilant of one’s rights and possessions.”

There is Biblical foundation for this type of passion as well. The Second Commandment (Exodus 20:4-6) contains the word jealous in a context that has confused many (and caused many more to stumble). And again, in Exodus 34:14, it is written, "Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God". Notice that in this verse, God tells the Israelites that His name is "Jealous." Why would God define Himself as jealous? The answer is simple: there are some things that we should be jealous about. God's jealousy for the hearts of His people is holy and righteous. They belong to Him and were created for His pleasure.

The same applies to your sexual bond with your husband. His sex drive was designed for your pleasure and intimacy. The power of his sexuality was also designed for your influence in his life. Through his sexuality, you have a powerful place in your husband's life that should belong to only you. It sets apart your relationship as distinctive from every other person in his life. No one can share with him as you can. Instead of lamenting the compelling sexual appeal of pornography and co-workers in your husband's life, focus your energy on reclaiming the influence that is rightly yours!

SEXUALITY - GOD'S GIFT, PART 1 - For the Ladies

“Your husband’s sex drive is God’s gift to you!” 

 Dr. Juli Slattery

Boaz Ministries

Yes, right now we’re flipping the script to focus on how your husband’s sex drive is God’s gift to you, his wife!  As research on the subject has rewarded us with stats on how much women fret about and even avoid sexual intimacy with their husbands, it must be acknowledged that sex is a huge force in your husband's life. And while acknowledging this, we should not neglect the fact that God created that force for your use as well. In fact, wives should become jealous and possessive of the power inherent in your husband's sexuality. It was intended for you!

Christian Psychologist, Juli Slattery, author of “No More Headaches, Enjoying Intimacy in Your Marriage” (Tyndale Press, 2009), says that we often look at a man's sexual desire as a weak link or an Achilles' heel. As with Samson or David, the promise of fleeting pleasure has the power to strip him of all that he values in life. However, what can be a source of evil can also be a force of great good. Just as twisted women are able to pull men into sin, virtuous women can use the influence of sex to call men to morality, love, and godliness.

Boaz is opening the “floor” for discussion in this series. It is a serious, grown-up conversation we believe couples should be having, whether in pre-marital counseling or seasoned in your marriage. Saying that this is vital and essential, is an understatement because of the outside influences in society through media, as well as stale ‘religious traditions’ that have caused gross misrepresentation and lack of understanding concerning what God intended to be a joyous celebration and experience for husband and wife.

We invite our readers to engage in this dialogue, share thoughts, and invite/share with others. Our references will be provided, and, as always, our source and guide is the Word of God. Part 2, with more for the ladies (men, you are welcome to take note!), will be posted Sunday, May 4, 2014.

Blessings,

B&B Edwards