Who is the woman in my attic, really?

About 15 years ago, I was a member of several poetry board groups online. It was an exciting and new experience because I'd never before shared any of my poems outside my immediate family. Back then, writers online had "screen names" - some were very clever. I just went by my middle name, "Alyce" (a dressed up 'Alice', pronounced a-leese - my parents' doing).

Alyce found an audience in that cyber world that I never knew existed. And through the sharing of ideas and poetry, there was an acceptance - and respect among the published and unpublished - that was extremely comforting and affirming. It was a different life from my 'real world.' Like many individuals then and now, I became distracted by the lure of nearly real -time interactions.

Being a novice and newcomer to IT - I almost lost my way. The creative community online was so vast and fiercely talented - I didn't see how, by tiny increments, I was slipping away from God's plan for me. But what I've come to know about God is, He will use our current location and some designated people in it, to bring us back to safety....

I split into multiple personalities during that time; this made writing very comfortable and pleasant for me. Alyce was one of my personas, and the primary speaker in most of my work back then. She was the one who told it like it was - she was the 'lover' - not confrontational or profane. She was the sensible one. There were a few times when Alyce would speak about and refer to me in the 3rd person (e.g. "Cleaning Out Bridgette's Closet" and "She Doesn't Cry on Paper") - though I never published a word under my first name (mysterious, maybe; cowardly, probably!).  There was also "Hadassah". She erupted from a rebellious mood - and I've always liked that name. But Hadassah was bawdy and sensuous - and the very opposite of what one would expect from someone with a biblical moniker. I also experimented with writing as a man - from a male's perspective.I dubbed 'him', "Hasan Raheem"(not original, grant it - but, it was the 2000s ha!). And it worked extremely well. None of the readers were the wiser. I surprised myself at how adept I was at thinking/writing like a man!

As a poet, I won a few awards, honorable mentions and "poet of the month" recognitions, and appeared on stage at spoken word venues. It was more underground than anything, but some legitimate writers encouraged me to publish. At that time, the "fans" were enjoying my series of poems titled, "The Woman in My Attic".  It was the logical choice for my debut title. But that wasn't to be. My writing had begun to take another direction, and at the end of seven years, "Come, Joy!" emerged. It was the culmination of work I hadn't even been planning to publish; but I'd been writing it all along. That was all God, I tell you!

I realized, in 2005, that all of the writing I'd done and published online during the earlier years, was just tiny drops in the bucket of God's plan for me. And I knew then, that I wouldn't publish again until He gave me His 'OK'.  My mind was fixed; my life was being transformed. I would no longer write of the sensuous, the earthy, the carnal and the angry.  God had given me a testimony, my own life, full of its ups and downs, successes and failures - and present hope, joy, forgiveness and LOVE - and THAT is what I'm to share whenever I write.

When I visited my daughter in California recently, with my son, we talked about this blog. And I explained to them that the woman in my attic is most certainly me; but she's who I hope to be, years from now. She's older, wiser, and waiting to impart further wisdom in a book of memoirs, if the Lord agrees.

A Tribute to Revived! Music Ministries

Logo designed by my daughter,  Ashley Wynn Urias

Yesterday, June 26, I began this post but could not finish.  I had so much to say, and really didn't want to belabor the subject and (dare I say it?) bore the readers. But I am just saying thanks to everyone - all the musicians and prayer warriors who helped fulfill the dream of one man, 15 years ago. Yesterday would have been Bro Wynn's 60th birthday.

Revived! Music Ministries was conceived in the heart of my late husband around 1998.  It was the inevitable solution to a challenge I was facing as Music Director at the small church we attended. We needed an adult singing group. Anybody who has experience as a "Minister of Music" in any church, knows the woes of trying to get "special music" lined up from month to month. At the time, I was more than comfortable directing the children's choir and using the regular, faithful soloists and groups on a rotating basis. I also had no problem calling upon my own family - including Bro Wynn, to fill in the gap when someone else backed out at the last minute. (It's such a blessing when there is musical talent in your family!)

I resisted the suggestion to start a singing group. Working with adults and all they can bring was not appealing to me in the least. However, in the end, I gave in. And we invited some singers over to our home to present this new idea for a group. That was the spring of 1999. A year later, we had about 16 members and our debut concert.

The name, Revive, was voted in. Our group's Chaplain, Elder Mickey, suggested the change in spelling from Revive to Revived - as a testimony of who and what we are, by the power of God's Holy Spirit, and through His Son, Jesus Christ. (And I added the exclamation point to emphasize the POWER and our extreme joy!) We went to the Scriptures for Biblical foundation to underscore and remind us of the promises of God - the very fuel and anointing of our new ministry:
-
For this is what the high and exalted One says—
    He who lives forever, whose name is holy:
"I live in a high and holy place,
    but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly  and to revive the heart of the contrite."  Isaiah 57:15

We all identified with this Word. Revived! was a family affair, and it became an in-reach as well as an outreach ministry.  Over the years, we were blessed by many individuals who shared their gifts with us. Some relocated to other areas of the country, and overseas, and there were others who, sadly, passed away. 

In October of 2010, our first and only CD was released (cover photo pictured above). It had been Bro Wynn's dream and pet project. He had worked tirelessly, fitting rehearsals and recording sessions into his already busy schedule - ensuring that the musicians and the studio were paid - the whole nine. We had spent the summer and fall of 2009 in the recording studio, with an initial release date of spring, 2010. But that was brought to an abrupt halt when he was hit by a drunk driver in March- and passed way two months later. The album was complete, and immediately became a posthumous tribute to our fearless leader. It was all I could do to stay on task - with the single thought: "Bro Wynn would want you to finish this project. Gird up your loins, girl!" God is able. With the help of praying folks who loved our ministry, and every single member of Revived!, the mission was accomplished. The music ministry produced another avenue for its message to reach souls beyond prison ministries and guest appearances at churches and concerts. There is a limited number of CDs left - many of them our members purchased to bless others as gifts.

Today, I want to thank all of the singing and non-singing members of Revived!; and honor the precious memory of the ones no longer with us:

Jean Wynn Garavito - Soprano, Alto
Harold Smith - Keyboards, Arranger
Bro RL Wynn - Co-founder - Tenor, Baritone
Neida Langhorn - Soprano
Vera Davis - Soprano


Revived! Music Ministries has been able to bestow financial blessings upon individuals and families in need, through the generous support of others throughout the years, and the dues we paid monthly for the cause. And although we no longer exist physically as a singing entity, Revived! lives on in the hearts of our 30+ singers and instrumentalists!


Finally, because we believe in the second coming - we know we shall be reunited with our beloved ones - if we stay on the battlefield for our Lord! By God's grace and Power - I plan to join hands and sing together again the songs of  Zion, around the Throne of God! I just can't miss out on the unspeakable joy God has in store for us, that will never end!


My prayer is today - that YOU plan to be there, too!

Happy Birthday to My Son!

Just wanted to give a maternal shout out to my only son, Jonathan! Today is his 23rd birthday and as always, when each of my children celebrate another year of life - I think about the weeks and days leading to the moment of their deliveries.

My last child born of 3,  Jonathan took the longest time to arrive. (5 hours - ha!) He was named for our dear friend, Jonathan (JC), and his father's middle name. An interesting thing is that his father and I had his name ready well before we had our first daughter. This isn't too unusual except for the fact that we were not prepared with a proper girl's name either time. We just couldn't seem to agree on the girls' names!

I've written elsewhere in this blog about the ability of our hearts to expand and deepen with each new love in our lives. And it is so. I love my son as tremendously and fiercely as I love my daughters. They can attest to that I am sure. Jonathan was the quiet hope of his father. I hadn't truly known this until we found out via ultrasound that he was indeed a boy. Lamont had been so in love with and crazy over both our girls! When the doctor pointed out the undeniable proof of a male child on the screen, he broke into tears! Words cannot express my feelings of wonder, surprise and relief that I'd somehow 'done good' - though I knew I hadn't provided the necessary chromosome to 'make' the boy.

Originally given an expected date of birth - June 26 (Lamont's own birth date) - Jonathan came six days earlier. The month of June has been doubly special ever since.

My prayer this day is for my son to continue to pursue God's plan for his life through an ever increasing, intimate relationship with Him. It is the legacy Bro. Wynn left to all of us.

Happy birthday, Jonathan Lamont! I am so incredibly proud of you, my son!

Forever love -

Mom

Milestones and Father's Day, and the Sweet that Chases all the Bitter away....

I'm a grateful mother. I am thankful for blessings that I know I don't deserve; thankful for the continuous prayers of people who care about me and my family.

I'm a proud mother of two children with advanced degrees. In 2010, my oldest daughter received her Masters Degree in English Literature; she currently teaches in South Korea with her husband. My second child graduated with her MBA over the holiday weekend. And she's being pursued for an HR position by a firm where she previously interned. Amen. My son is on his path toward his Engineering degree. Hallelujah!

So, this past weekend was a special time with my west coast family. I visited with my parents, and spent precious, quality time with my father.  My parents attended their granddaughter's graduation with so much joy and pride, they were beaming! Dad couldn't have received a better gift on Father's Day!

Reflecting back over the last four years, I see where the Lord intervened time after time, sustaining us all as we lived through the loss of my children's father, my husband of 31 years. He would be so proud today!  And while we weren't expecting his death, God, in His omniscient wisdom, had been preparing us -  we'd been in a growing relationship with Him through our family's ministry. When the blow of death struck us, we almost lost our balance, but we never fell down.  I think of all the twists and turns in my children's educational journey, the financial aid, scholarships awarded right on time, the set-backs (although temporary), the back-and-forth that life is; and my subsequent remarriage and move across the country. I look at all of it and realize how the Lord continues to show Himself strong in my life. It is humbling.

I'm still here. We are healthy and reasonably sane. And I give all glory, honor and praise to God for all He's done, is doing and will continue to do for me and my family. My commitment to Him grows and grows because of His awesome faithfulness towards me. I know now that there is nothing I can't do or go through, because my God is with me.

Today, I'm thinking about the mercy and grace God gives to each and every one of us who call upon Him as our Father.  I'm meditating on His promise to never leave us nor forsake us. He is the Sweet that chases all the bitterness of life away. I'm a living witness!

Father and Daughter
In loving memory, Graduation weekend, Oakwood University, May, 8, 2010

Carrying on...  La Sierra University, June 15, 2014

A request from the Attic

Hello all!

From the stats here on the Attic blog - this latest series from Boaz Ministries, "Sexuality, God's Gift," is enjoying a wide readership and I'm grateful to you for your continued interest during all six parts. If you are being blessed by the posts from the couples' ministry I share with my husband, Bruce,  please go on over to our Facebook site and "like" us.

We are in the process of launching our website, and we are also developing couples' workshops - for the engaged and the married.  I invite you to be part of our journey, and feel free to share with others. The topics spring from the concerns of people who have come to us, and from our own observations. We welcome your ideas for future topics - because we welcome any opportunity to dig deeper into the Word of God for the answers, whether specific, or in principle. It sharpens us, and in the process, everyone is edified. Our main goal is a closer relationship with God, and one another as we travel this journey.

We really want to hear what you think! So, click on the link!

Boaz Ministries

Blessings!

Bridget E.

SEXUALITY, GOD'S GIFT - FINALE

Boaz Ministries

God created sex.  He created sex for both procreation and pleasure in marriage.  The beauty of God’s intended purpose for the acts of intimacy has been damaged over centuries due to ignorance and man-made doctrines within the church; and the misuse, abuse and misrepresentation of it in secular society. 

In bringing this series, we sought to provide an avenue for couples to open the door and have the conversation.  As believers, we understand that we have chosen to be one with our spouse, and what God has joined together, no one can separate (paraphrase Matthew 19:5-6).  This oneness is a mindset, a lifestyle that must be practiced – daily. We no longer belong to ourselves.  Lovemaking, communicating with one another; communion with the Lord through prayer, praise and worship – these are all essential elements of a Christian marriage. And there must be balance. 

In our research we found outstanding resources by Christian authors, and particularly written by men, for men.  Scott Means, in his blog “Surrendered Marriage”, discusses the “Bridal Paradigm.”  This paradigm is, simply, two people agreeing to work together to make their marriage a reflection of the love relationship between Jesus, our heavenly bridegroom, and the church, His bride. Means says, “A marriage founded on the bridal paradigm is a journey toward deeper intimacy and increased passion, along with greater freedom and trust.”

Greater trust gives way to even greater sharing of emotions and thoughts, which creates the safe environment necessary for both husband and wife to be vulnerable and transparent. Greater freedom opens doors to even greater trust, and on and on. Surrendered marriage is indeed a lifelong journey to a deeper understanding of God’s design for marriage as revealed in the bridal paradigm, and is not unlike our spiritual journey in our relationship with Christ.  

We must re-emphasize here, that there is nothing natural or biblical about married couples abstaining from sex. A partner who is unwilling to engage intimately with their spouse is being disobedient to the Word of God. We are not speaking of medical conditions or other mental or physiological incapacity. Each marriage is different, but the divine directive is clear; abstaining from sex for the sake of prayer and fasting must be by mutual agreement, and then, not for long periods of time. One’s “piety” or “holiness” to the point of abstinence in marriage does not honor God, and further, it does not please God.

In marriage, so much goes on behind closed doors. People who have been married for many years have seen the best and the worst of times. Christians have access to the Power Source, which imbues us with the strength to gird up our loins, fall on our knees, and pray/work/talk/argue/love through any test or trial. For couples needing additional help, there are qualified Christian counselors; and there is no shame in seeking marital counseling.

We pray that this series has blessed someone.  And we encourage you to work together, fight for your marriage, and above all, love one another, fiercely!

Bruce and Bridget

SEXUALITY, GOD'S GIFT, PART 6 - For the Men

Boaz Ministries 

A Husband’s Sexual Surrender

God has uniquely fashioned the man and the woman so that we are very different; not only different in the biological sense, but different in our makeup. Husbands tend to respond very quickly; wives are not as quickly stimulated and not by the same kinds of things. We have heard it said by some that men and women are mismatched, sexually speaking. And so we are, by divine design. There is a level of mutual satisfaction that cannot be reached without real love. In this sense, biblical sex is “making love.”  (Bob Diffenbaugh, “Sex and the Spiritual Christian,” www.bible.org, 2004) And love is manifested in sacrifice. Only as both the husband and the wife sacrifice their own interests (sexually speaking) is the other satisfied. Sacrificial servant-hood is the key to Spirit-filled sex.

We are not just talking about some kind of technique, which, if followed, brings maximum pleasure to the one who employs it. The husband should be sensitively attuned to his wife, seeking to bring her fulfillment. But this is not just because it is the way he will find his own fulfillment. Love-making in marriage seeks to bring pleasure to one’s spouse at one’s own expense. There is a lot of talk about “maximum sex,” but sex should never be approached selfishly as the means to the ultimate goal of self-satisfaction. “Taking up one’s cross” applies in the board room and in the bedroom. 

Husbands, sexual surrender starts with the understanding that for our wives, sexual oneness flows best out of emotional oneness. A husband’s sexual surrender doesn’t mean denying our sexual nature. We’ve already said that a man’s sex drive is God-inspired, and God-given. Sexual surrender means understanding and cooperating with rather than working against our wives’ sexual nature. The following is a list of insights to ponder and practice, from Author/Blogger Scott Means, “Monday Man Up – Journey to Surrender, the Bridal Paradigm,” www.surrenderedmarriage.org ,2011:

1.      Don’t accuse her of being sexually cold just because she isn’t constantly after your body the way you are after hers.

2.      Develop or enhance your romantic nature in order to satisfy your wife’s desire for emotional intimacy. It’s not acceptable to simply say “I’m not the romantic type.” Find your own way of romantic expression and emotional connection, but find it just the same. She needs this from you.

3.      Scripturally, the “rights” to your wife’s body belongs to you. Likewise, she has the rights to yours. (1 Cor 7:3-4). For me these verses speak more to mutual sexual fulfillment than simply to the act of sex. Viewing these verses through the lens of surrender implies that you must focus more on fulfilling her desires than on demanding that yours be met.

4.      Sexual surrender implies cherishing and nurturing your wife’s sexuality as your own. “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.” (Eph 5:28-29) Make sure you are feeding and caring for your wife’s sexual nature, not crushing and reshaping it for your own self-satisfaction.

5.      Part of your sexual surrender includes loving your wife “as if.” Meaning, even though your nature is to require sexual satisfaction in order to feel and act emotionally connected to your wife, the challenge is that you give yourself emotionally and romantically to your wife “as if” you are already completely satisfied sexually. In other words, you go first in surrendering.

Surrender in the sexual arena can be among the more difficult aspects of a couple’s marital experience. Sex is not only an emotionally charged topic that comes with all kinds of historical baggage, but dealing with it requires vulnerability and trust. Regardless, we encourage you to face your sexual surrender head on, with confidence, love and grace, no matter where you are in your sexual relationship. There is always room for more sexual intimacy in your marriage. Men, if we want to deepen sexual intimacy in our marriages, we must lead the way!