There are five basic love languages, according to Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate". They are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I wholeheartedly agree - and believe there's probably room for even more categories!
When we learn about effective communication, whether in group encounter/dynamic sessions, or through seminars given by employers - we find that people give and receive information differently. We learn that about 80% of communication is in our body language - leaving about 20% in what we actually say verbally! Just in trying to get along on our jobs, we realize that everybody doesn't "compute" the same way we do; and sometimes, there are huge gaps in the line of communication. It's unpleasant enough when there's miscommunication in the work place- and it's so much worse when there's a chronic breakdown between people in a committed relationship or marriage.
The self-help, couples oriented books out there are plenteous, to be sure. I've read a few, in my quest to stay "up" on what people are writing in this area of our ministry. And I find no fault with much of what these authors have to say. The advice is constructive, and the insights are eye-opening; therefore I have no problem recommending certain books for couples to read - together. (key word = TOGETHER) We practice what we preach at Boaz Ministries, so we've been reading selected books together. It's a wonderful thing for us particularly, because we both enjoy reading.
Activities such as reading together help increase our communication skills with one another. Reading the Bible together is huge if both are believers, or striving to become believers. Quiet as it's kept, the Word of God has volumes to say about love's languages! I was thinking about all of the great PhD's and LSCW's, and other Marriage Counselors/professionals who provide so many wonderful tools for people to practice at home. And I do believe there is a need for our professionals in these fields (or I wouldn't have a job, either!). But it came to me that if we examine the very basic elements of what these people are saying in their books and in the media, we realize all these tools, and more, are also found in the Bible.
Let's discover the love languages of our mates, beloved. Get in each others' face and space and truly search your innermost hearts. We want to do this to be able to better serve and be served. Make sure our connection is complete - and, happily, this is a daily process (and not a chore)! There is no greater way to engage as a couple, than working on your heaven-on-earth, together. Think of the blessings and benefits you will unleash! Yes, miracles of wonder and surprise!
Love one another, fiercely!
Fruit of the Spirit
Galatians 5:22-23 (all about love!)
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