Your Dirty Secrets Aren't Safe ....

Well, I should say, I now know things about certain people I wish I didn't know! Things I NEVER wanted to know.

We all know people who have done things in their past they're not proud of. WE'VE done things in our past we're not proud of, for that matter. However, I have to dub this year of 2011, "the year of slimy revelations!" While it is true that part of my job and ministry involves people telling me their personal business, and together we work through problems and issues - this is NOT that! And the people I'm contracted to help are not my personal friends. They are clients and I am bound to keep their business in the strictest of confidence. My personal friends and even some of my business acquaintances have been "de-cloaked" before my very eyes; and they weren't necessarily trying to let me know... But the pictures emerging are quite clear.

I haven't always been the most discerning person in my lifetime, but experience and dealing with people on the regular, have rewarded me with insights that come in handy when making important decisions. I'm thankful to God for the ability to "read" a situation; but I don't always make a snap judgment when I see questionable behaviors.  I take time to observe. I sometimes make excuses for the individual; sometimes I make allowances and try to reason things out. Unfortunately, lately, my initial instincts have been correct: "if it walks like a duck...."

We all have secrets, granted. I know there are things I don't want the public to know about me - they're just not for general consumption. But it's the pattern of our lives TODAY, that, at the "mature" ages we find ourselves, and the times in which we live, we should be mellowing. We should be growing gracefully.  And if we have religious/spiritual convictions, those characteristics should be evident in our lifestyles and the way treat others. So, I've been stunned recently, by the underhanded ways in which so-called Christians are behaving. These are people who are in leadership, have a wide area of influence, have businesses and hold the immediate lives of their employees and families in their hands. People who, blinded by their egos and greed, may destroy their own careers, ruin their reputations in the community, and trample upon the noble missions they set out to accomplish at the start.

And I'm absolutely too close to these situations. To the point where I've sought counsel  for clarity of my role, and continue to pray for these individuals (as I pray for myself). Oh, and if you are thinking that I could just "talk to them and appeal to their sense of fair play and common decency".... did I mention the word "narcissistic"? No? Well, if you do not know, one of the characteristics of a narcissist is... they do no wrong. There is no empathy, nor any genuine sympathy for others (though they may be engaged in community based and even faith based endeavors)... All things are done so they may shine in the spotlight; receive praise (and monetary gain). If someone else is helped along the way, well, that's nice. But helping others is not the true focus, make no mistake.

So, I would be wasting my breath trying to tell such a person they are going down the wrong path. Remember, they are NEVER wrong! And, I've learned. The Bible says what's done in the dark will come to light...or, more precisely in Luke 8:17 "For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light."(English Standard Version) I'll not tell a lie, I look forward to the day with the Judge of all will bring the cruel, heartless, money-grubbing blasphemers to task. These are the hardest of the hearts, because, by virtue of the fact that they don't feel guilt or shame, they do not see the need to confess, repent, and allow the Spirit of God inside to transform their minds!  I find comfort and peace from the Word of God, where it is written in many places that those who oppress the poor and needy, those who defraud their brothers/sisters, shall be dealt with! ( Deut. 24:14-15; Ps 12:5, 72:4; Prov. 14:31, 22:16, 22-23)

My prayer is "Lord, have mercy!"  My hope is that these colleagues, acquaintances, etc., who persist in perpetrating crimes of the white and blue collar varieties, will wake up out of their fog of pride and arrogance, and see the handwriting on the wall. Some are on the way to public shame, vilification and even criminal charges... (because when you misuse and abuse others continuously, SOMEBODY'S GONNA TELL THE AUTHORITIES!)...

Those of us who have respect for our Creator, Who is all seeing and all knowing, should be much more concerned with what He sees us engaging in, when no one else can see. We should care what He thinks about our behavior, our motives. We should choose to do the RIGHT thing when NOBODY'S watching! (it's called "integrity") Those of us who study His character and ask for His Power to draw us into an intimate relationship with Him, are free from worry about our secrets getting out. We're forgiven, and we don't do those things anymore, by His grace and might. So I pity the fools who continue on the wrong path, the path to destruction and ultimate separation from God.  They're not safe, neither are their secrets. And they're standing on very shaky ground, right alongside the enemy of our souls, who always gets his victims out on a limb, then cuts it off!

"There is a way that seems right to a man,   but its end is the way to death" Proverbs 16:25 (English Standard Version)

looking forward

...wish i could explain it
this stirring, this sweet agony
within me
the excitement attends me
every waking moment
and there's a certain comfort
even when i have so many questions
about where this path will lead

i'm full of dreams, hopes,
goals, and plans
i've learned how to give
my outline to God first
and watch Him work the details

...wish i could describe the absolute joy
i have inside
the beauty i have discovered
the precious gift of life
wrapped in complete
and wholesome love

i said,
i've learned to give my desires
to the Lord, knowing i
can't move without Him....

...wish i could adequately express this peace
that abides within me
though my heart is turning cartwheels
with each step i take into unknown tomorrows

i know my  feet won't falter
as the road ahead looms before me

the journey promises blessed companionship
(and i am looking forward)

...wish i could explain it

© 2011

August is gone! (....once a month, at least!!!)

It occurred to me, just because I have a blog doesn't mean I'll be writing things daily. Well, of course I knew this already, but somehow I'd wanted to have this prolific experience. Magically! It hasn't happened, and honestly, I promised myself that I wouldn't write anything mundane, uninspired, "pedestrian" (my mother's favorite word), just to be posting something. There is a certain amount of pride I do (still ) have in my work...my self.

The month of August is gone. There's one more day left. I've decided to just give a brief update on things I mentioned in previous posts:

The Skype Bible study is still going strong. We have seven individuals in all. Three of them are getting ready to get online with the  Sabbath/Saturday study; and one of them meets with me on Sundays. So currently, we have 3 active members, including myself (my son, Jonathan, would be #4) who have been meeting weekly on Saturdays since May. My son is back in college and is working on syncing up with us at 9 a.m. in his time zone. It was even more difficult for him when he was home this summer, because it begins at 7 a.m. in my time zone! We'll see, and I'm not holding my breath! (smile). And the young lady I meet with on Sundays has been enjoying our one-on-one sessions weekly since June. It's been such an enriching experience for me. The others have expressed the same sentiments. Our study has been on "love", and we're gleaning so much from each other as we share the lessons we're learning week to week, and how the Bible comes to life for us in our daily lives. 

The new believers Bible class for young people - a duty I recently accepted at the invitation of a Pastor/friend of mine at a church where I minister through music - is also doing well. By God's grace, we meet every Sabbath at 10 a.m. (So, I'm up early before 7 a.m. for the Skype sessions, then out the door by 9:15 so I can be on time for the young people at church. It's working!) There are about 16 young people in the class, ranging from ages 15-19. Most of them are recently baptized members, some of them were already members, or have been going to that church for a while. I conduct this class by the same principles as we do the Skype. We use the Bible to answer our life questions. 

The Pastor had initially asked me about materials I might need. I thought about this, and came up with two things:  1. a composition book (journal) for each teen 2. a Teen Study Bible (NIV).  A trip to the bookstore rewarded me with my decision on item 2. I own a study Bible and it is very helpful to me, but I'm comfortable with the KJV. Not everyone is; especially the younger folks, and ESPECIALLY young people who have never owned a Bible. The new international version speaks in language young (and old) can relate to, without detracting from the clear message of the texts. The purpose of the journal is simple. (and I have one, too) My hope and goal is to introduce personal Bible study to these young ones. Bible study that is not forced, but based on a developing relationship with the Lord... the God they have already promised to love, trust and obey.  These young people have brought many questions, to which I am bringing back answers from the Word. Answers they are able to check and read for themselves. And we have been having wonderful discussions; question and answer periods. Each young person will have an opportunity to facilitate, lead out, pray, etc., as we move forward from week to week.


I've already mentioned that my son is back in college. THAT was an accomplishment, as well! I take nothing for granted! We're very proud of him; he's in his junior year at Oakwood University, in Huntsville, AL - an Applied Mathematics and Engineering major. Next year he plans to transfer to University of Alabama in Huntsville for the engineering portion of his studies. I pray all goes well. My other children (the youngunz), are also doing well, by God's grace. My eldest, Ashley, is teaching English in South Korea, along with my son-in-law, Brian. They're enjoying it immensely and share their experiences on a blog of their own. http://129degreeseast.wordpress.com/  They work for the South Korean government in a program called EPIK (English Program in Korea), teaching in public schools. And my second daughter, Angela, is currently awaiting word about employment with the county, here in our area. She graduated from college in 2010 in Management, and looks forward to going to graduate school in the fall of 2012. I pray daily for the strengthening of each of my children in their relationships with the Lord, for their protection and guidance as they make their way through this life.

As for me.... I also have plans that I'm lifting up to the Lord in prayer. I ask that you join me in prayer to continue to be obedient to the voice of the Lord as I move from day to day. By God's grace, there will be more to share as we enter into September! (but I'll post once a month, at the very least!)

New Beginnings

waking from dreams full of the familiar,
the breath against my cheek
the sound of my name reaching my ears
on the last syllable (every time!)
the funny little snicker that would erupt
into full out laughter
the song sung a capella
the harmony, finally 


waking from dreams that keep me
tethered sweetly by a silken tie
to yesterdays and loved ones now gone
pushes me forward
gives me strength
brings me peace


and hope
and hope....so much hope

waking from visions that do their
nocturnal dance above my head
reminds me of things I always
want to remember
the loved ones with me now
this joy in the present tense
who I really am
and who I strive to be



and Who is guiding me
each day when I
awake

© Copyright 2011

Maudlin, never

I read the Poet's words,
his eulogy for a friend
well, that was the subtitle
otherwise I might not have known

the Poet weaved syllables turned
golden phrases, transporting me to
a time I had not shared with them, yet

I was there

As I looked on
the tears came, and welled in the corners
of my eyes,
stubborn...unwilling to run down my face
my cheeks burned,
the beauty of the words blurred
my sight, but too late to shield them from my heart

this beating thing within my chest
leaped out... more than sympathy
more like kinship...we'd both lost someone

for days I'd been struggling for words
to accompany me in my own time of grief
yea, in this season of mourning

sometimes not caring about trite expressions,
dangling participles and the like
knowing nothing reasonable rhymes with death....

other times, concerned my cathartic release
would be mawkish, miserable, and futile
impotent....unworthy of the ink,

But the Poet's narrative drew me inside
the final moments of the last time he saw his friend

and touched every part of all the things
I wanted to say

© 2011

Inspired by Poet Kalamu Ya Salaam

Walking in my calling

What you have to know is, I'm not a denomination kinda gal. I'm a believer, looking forward to the second coming of Christ. I also believe the 7th day, Saturday, is the Sabbath. It was established during creation week, long before there were Hebrews/Jews. And there is all kinds of evidence that the seventh-day Sabbath observance was changed to Sunday, by man. And the New Testament account (1 Corinthians 16:2) that offering was to be taken up for the poor on the first day of the week, does not prove that Sunday was now the holy day, sanctified by God. It was the day Paul was coming through to pick up the funds! I could go on and on about how many continue to misinterpret Colossians 2:16, "Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days". (all must be understood within the cultural context, no one in Jesus' or Paul's day was recognizing/observing the first day as the Lord's Sabbath)  Add to that, there is Biblical support through the prophecies in Daniel, that man would change times and laws. And man did just that. Now, most of "Christiandom" recognizes the first day as God's holy day, for a variety of reasons. (and many go to church on whatever day simply because it's tradition/habit).

Having said all that, I was given the opportunity to teach a new believers' class of youth who have recently been baptized into the SDA church. For those who aren't familiar with that denomination, Seventh day Adventists are a Christian church who believe in the second coming of Christ, and they worship on Saturday, the seventh-day. I was born and raised in that church, but through intense Bible study and prayer, I found that I  honestly could not embrace all of the traditions and teachings of that denomination. However, where their teachings agree with the Bible, I agree with them ( and any other church, for that matter). There are some fundamental things of the SDA church that prevent me from labeling myself an Adventist any longer.  But I can't stress enough how GRATEFUL I am for parents who took me to church and got me started on the path to a relationship with Christ! If I had to give myself a label, I'm a Sabbath-keeping, Bible- believing, Jesus Christ-loving, daughter of the King! It was a wonder to me, since the pastor of that church knew he'd be rocking the boat with some of his more conservative members by asking me to teach "new believers" because: 1) I believe there are remnant people who may attend church; I do not believe the remnant church is an institution/denomination; 2) I believe there are people of God who have never and may never step foot inside a church 3) I believe there's a counterfeit church in full effect, causing multitudes to be led astray ("churchianity"). The pastor actually agrees with me on all three points, however, he's a "company man" and can't be as radical as I.

When he asked me to teach this class of new believers, I knew the answer was "yes". I had one condition - that our only source of study would be the Bible, and not the denomination's "study materials." When he agreed, it was a done deal! The mission is to show the young people how the Bible has answers to all their life's questions; how the Word of God is relevant to their daily lives. The focus is to help them strengthen their love relationship with Jesus Christ.

As I've blogged before, I'm involved in a Skype Bible study every weekend. It's a blessing to my soul every time we meet and I come away with wonderful insights shared by the other members. I know this is what I'm called to do. So when the pastor asked me if I would consider mentoring the youth, helping them grow in their knowledge of the Word of God, and their relationship with Christ, I smiled inside.

God has His way of letting us know what He wants us to do. I've learned to listen for His voice. It comes in many forms. Sometimes it's confirmation from another person speaking a word of truth, and sometimes it's Scripture that comes to mind....and sometimes, it's a pastor, who was agonizing over whether or not to even approach me, finally asking me the question.

There is absolutely nothing more gratifying than knowing what your purpose is in life. And you have to know, this process has been a long, long road. I am happy to assist people in their walk with the Lord. It will certainly help me with my own.

She used to love it here

when it was new territory
a place to be pioneers
raise children in safety

where the air was clean
and the stars came out every night
presenting themselves to be
counted... to her son's delight

she used to love 
the walks to the
great mound where she sat
while her children played
until the magnificent
setting of the sun


she used to love
the quiet neighborhoods
where every street
was a road less traveled

stop signs, traffic lights
hardly needed to function
almost 20 years ago

almost 20 years ago
when life was simpler
no sirens blaring, no helicopters
searching
when the hearth
inside the house
warmed the two plus their three

today she sits, in reverie
she used to love it here

© Copyright 2011