A Full Heart Can Hold More!

I'm in the present, looking over this 50+ years span of my life. Can somebody say  "O-MAZING!"? The sum of my experiences thus far is nothing, if not rich! Not the money-rich, mind you. But a sista can't complain. When I think about the hills, valleys, and then the MOUNTAINS - the ones that seemed hard to climb, and those same ones that afforded me victorious panoramic views from their peaks once  I reached the top - all I can say is "THANK YOU, LORD!"

People have said many things to me in this first year of my "widowhood". They've been encouraging, and some well-meaning, have said some ill-thought things. I've understood and I understand. It's difficult to know what to say when someone has lost a loved one. 

One of the first pieces of well meaning counsel I received, within weeks after my husband's death, was that God would provide me with another precious love....not to worry. They had no idea that I had no worries about that, nor did I foresee ever having a worry/need. My heart was full. And as I have explained to a few of my sista/friends - I still felt very married, and satisfied.

I am still satisfied. However, I was recently in conversation with some women co-workers about having children. And I heard a couple of them relate their reasons for only having one child..."because I didn't think I could love another child as much as my baby." That struck me, because I, too, remembered having that same thought. Almost in a panic, some 23 years ago - because I was already pregnant with my second daughter. And I worried about being able to give this new child the love she would require..."how can I love this one when I love my  firstborn baby so much?" 

All my fears disappeared the moment I held my newborn in my arms. She was mine, she was beautiful, and she had all of my love, immediately and meted out especially for her. My love for the second child in no way subtracted from the love I had for my first child. And I experienced this miracle one more time when my only son was born. Each love is unique - each heartbeat, a different cadence that matches your own in distinct variations of the theme.  

These thoughts played back the scenes from my past, and how I learned the capacity of the heart to love deeply, and differently, and specially, on levels beyond our imagination and sometimes our understanding.  And those well meaning friends who assured me that God would bring me another precious love were not wrong. 


Happily, I find that the blessing of a willing, giving heart, confident, in faith and filled to overflowing, is more....