It is so easy to see the faults in others, especially our beloved spouse. And so, in relating to one another every day, there is the tendency to pounce on every "little" thing that annoys us about our partner. Here's the thing: when we engage in those behaviors, pointing the finger and playing the "blame game", we are distracted from the work that needs to be done in our own hearts. The "denial" can be damaging in committed relationships, because as humans, we tend to think highly of ourselves. It's usually the "other person" who has the "issue".
As believers, we realize we all fall short of the glory of God. And the focus of change must turn inward, by the power of God's Holy Spirit. It doesn't "feel good", takes us outside our comfort zones - but it's so vitally important. When couples commit their lives to each other in the Lord, we realize as we mature in faith that the spiritual work must commence, and continue! We have to come to a place where we "come clean" with God and ask Him to show us our faults, and then He is able to work His miracle of transformation in our lives. David, the psalmist wrote:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139:23-24 NASB
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