Writing the obituary

The honor of writing my father's obituary was bestowed upon me shortly after he passed away. I had in mind the usual writeup that goes in the Obituary section of the newspaper - no problem. But the family also wanted me to write the longer version for his memorial this coming weekend! At the time of their request, I had a little over three weeks...and that didn't seem to be nearly enough time.  There were two questions that kept turning over in my mind: "How does one write a condensed version of such a large life?" and "Can I do him justice - write in such a way that he would be proud?"

It took me several days, and nights of fitful sleep - and much prayer, before I commenced the task. Amid the swirl of preparation happening on the west coast (and regular updates from my sister), I knew I had to get my hind parts in gear and have a draft ready well before time to go to the printers. Besides giving my input on musical selections, I only had one task: write the obituary for Dad. The expectation, which seemed to be unanimous - was that it would be every superlative imaginable! Oh.the.pressure.

When I sit down to write from the heart of my heart, I do it the old fashioned way - with pen, pencil and paper. It's difficult, but it's a discipline that helps me think. There's a connection between me and the subject (it could be a "thank you" card, etc.) that only the tactile experience can bring.  My mother provided me with the theme and focus I needed: "Don Greathouse, A life lived with passion and joy!" Once I got started, the words flowed. My brother-in-law was doing triple duty researching Dad's work history with Los Angeles Unified School District and post-graduate degrees; and he regularly emailed us his findings. With essential input on Dad's early years from my aunt,  the sketch of my father's life was completed on my self-appointed deadline - which was anytime BEFORE my sister asked for it!

I had my writer/partner/husband, Bruce, proofread and edit the piece before I sent it to my sister. I was grateful for the extra set of eyes and spectacles! All in all, my mother was pleased and she added a few more tidbits.

Tonight, I will sit down to complete the final draft. It has been a tearful labor of love and I pray the hearers will be blessed. Yes. I said hearers. I found out that my mother doesn't want it printed in the programme, but instead, wants someone to stand and read it to the congregation. She asked if I felt I could deliver the obituary, but would understand if I cannot.

I'm grateful for my mother and the confidence she has in me. But it took everything I had, plus God's power, to wrap my mind around associating the word obituary with my father, let alone doing the thing that says to everyone, out loud - "he's gone!" Writing his life's story to share with family and  friends - this final act for Daddy, is the best I can do.

AMENDMENT: My mother decided to have copies printed and inserted for everyone. Best idea!